Passion Perfect

Title: Life and Breath
Author: Pink Rabbit Productions
Fandom: Guiding Light
Pairing: Olivia/Natalia
Part: 14
Date: 17 July, 2009
Rating: Personally, I'd call it an R, but some might consider it NC-17 at some point.
Disclaimer: The characters and situations belong to other folks far wealthier, more important (or at least with better lawyers), and hopefully more charitable and kinder than I. They include, but are not necessarily limited to CBS, Proctor and Gamble, and Telenext. The actual arrangement of words, however, remains my own as do any original characters. Meanwhile, there is likely to be all female romantic and sexual activity ahead, so if this is likely to get you, me, or anybody else arrested should you take a gander, please move along. Also, if you find that sort of thing offensive, you really probably shouldn't hang around anyplace I'm posting. Just sayin'....
Archiving: The Pink Rabbit Consortium
Spoilers: Some early scenes definitely, plus anything through the spa trip is fair game.
Timeline: Unlike some folks, I don't have an exact scene where this one takes off. However, it's definitely set after the spa trip, but before Rafe's release from the halfway house. Oh, and it's after Natalia admits she's in love with Olivia to Father Ray.
Earlier Parts: | Part 1 (Prologue) | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | Part 11 | Part 12 | Part 13 |

Part 14

Though technically Catholic, Frank rarely attended mass. Churches were where one went for weddings and funerals, the occasional christening, and if not on duty or intending to sleep in, perhaps a Christmas or Easter mass every few years.

Now he was going to have to add a new reason.

Checking up on an ex-fiancée and current fraud suspect.

The idea had come when he was avoiding looking at his own reflection in the mirror while shaving. A sharp nick, a hiss of pain, and a stream of blood had finally forced his gaze up until he was staring into his own bloodshot gaze. Bloodied, raw, and hung over, he barely recognized the man staring back at him. Certainly, he bore no resemblance to the happy, lighthearted soul he'd seen only a few months before.

All her doing.

And suddenly he'd known he had to see her one more time before he smashed her game into a million pieces. He needed to look into her eyes knowing what she was, face her down when she didn't suspect he'd seen through her. He needed to see if he could catch a glimpse of the rotted core of her so he could once and for all dismiss the horrible suspicion that he was the rotted one and not she.

And he needed to do it somewhere that Olivia Spencer avoided like the plague because even knowing she'd probably been used and set up, the hotelier made him crazy. She was too integral a part of too many humiliations and failures for him to forgive her role in the latest loss.

Which was why his mouth curled into a narrow, bitter line when he saw them together at the church, hands loosely clasped, Emma walking alongside Olivia. The two women were talking, frequently looking at one another, then down at Emma, and while he couldn't catch more than the occasional glimpse of their smiles, their body language made his teeth grind as they ambled along, walking so close their shoulders occasionally brushed.

Unable to bear the sight, he dropped his gaze to the small figure walking alongside Olivia and a deep frown creased his features as he saw the way her head drooped and slim shoulders slumped. Her small hand was caught in her mother's, but he had the sense that she would have pulled away if given the chance, and when Natalia pointedly leaned over and spoke to her, she just shrugged limply and offered a dejected head shake.

Rage slid through him at what he saw. Normally the little girl was the brightest and cheeriest of souls, and suddenly she looked like someone who'd taken too many body blows. His gaze flicked up to the two women walking along with her. What the hell were they exposing her to? Clearly, something was very wrong. She was just a little kid. She didn't need whatever perverse baggage they wanted to load onto her.

Teeth gritted, he knew he had to do something because Barron was right. Emma was what mattered and he couldn't fail her.



"You feeling okay, Jellybean?" Olivia asked worriedly as she automatically brushed a hand over her daughter's forehead to check for a fever. She'd been too quiet all morning.

"Fine," came back the instant, but rather glum reply.

No sign of a temperature. Olivia peered at her daughter's down-turned head. Emotional, not physical, she diagnosed from hard-won experience. Still dealing with the news from the night before. Natalia's hand brushed her shoulder and they shared a look that spoke volumes. Lots of mutual worries there.

Her hand still resting supportively on Olivia's shoulder, Natalia massaged soothingly, then noted Father Ray Santos where he stood at the entrance to the church, welcoming parishioners. His head swung their way, dark eyes narrowing with displeasure. Straightening her spine, she faced his disapproval with a resolute look. She flicked a quick glance at Emma and another at Olivia. They needed a little time and she wanted to speak to the priest to try and smooth things over before Olivia and Emma were anywhere in his vicinity. Brushing a hand lightly at the small of Olivia's back to draw her attention, she nodded to indicate the watching priest. "I'm going to go speak to Father Ray." Another nod, this time at Emma. "I'll be back in a few minutes."

Olivia watched her for a moment, then turned to face her daughter, crouching down to put them more on level. Eyes that were a mirror of her own dropped away almost instantly, refusing to meet her steady gaze. This was a problem. "Natalia really loves you, sweetie," she said very softly, "and you're hurting her feelings by acting this way."

Slumped shoulders rose and fell in a hint of a shrug, while Emma's eyes remained downcast.

There were so many things she wanted to tell the girl. Unfortunately, with a growing crowd arriving for morning mass, it was hardly the time. Finally, she tucked a finger under a small chin and brought Emma's head up until their eyes met. "We'll talk about this more later," she both assured and warned her daughter in one fell swoop, wanting her to understand that she realized there was a problem and that it would be dealt with. "But in the meantime, I love you more than anything in this world...and nothing will ever change that."

A little of the distress seemed to drain from her daughter's eyes, but she didn't say anything.

"It'll be okay," Olivia assured the girl, then wincing ever so slightly, she made the ultimate sacrifice for her youngest child. "Wanna go to Chuckles later...y'know, after services?"

A suspicious look made its way across Emma's small face. For an adult to offer a trip to Chuckles, rather than be asked was tacit acknowledgment that said adult was, if not in the wrong, then not entirely in the right either. Finally, she shrugged, not precisely mollified, but perhaps on the road. "Yeah...sure," she agreed after a beat, though she maintained her melancholy air. Then she glanced sideways and noted a friend from school. "Jodi's here. Can I go say hi?"

Realizing this was as good as it was going to get for the moment, Olivia nodded. "Yeah, but stay in sight." Emma had a habit of slipping leashes, and she was in no mood for that sort of thing today. They had quite enough on their plates without a disappearing act.

Nodding, Emma trudged off and Olivia watched her go with worried eyes, tracking her closely until she reached her friend. They started playing and Jodi's parents glanced over, nodding her way in acknowledgment, signaling via that tacit code parents have amongst themselves, that they'd keep an eye on both girls. She smiled in gratitude, then flicked a gaze sideways to where Natalia was speaking with Father Ray—none too pleasantly to judge by the tightness of the priest's expression and the tension in Natalia's back. One hand floated up to rub the bridge of her nose as she pushed back to her feet. "Someone tell me again why I agreed to this," she muttered to no one in particular.

"Because sometimes we do stupid things for the people we love," an unfamiliar voice pointed out with sympathetic humor.

Pivoting toward the unexpected answer, Olivia frowned as her gaze fell on a woman, elderly, not quite as tall as her shoulder, and delicate to the point of appearing fragile. Her silver hair was tucked back in a bun and blue eyes twinkled. "Olivia Spencer?" she said as she held out a hand.

"Yes." Olivia accepted the proffered handshake, her grip hesitant as though she expected to hear the shattering of bone if she gripped too hard. The hand caught in her own was tiny, delicate, skin cool and smooth, and yet the elderly woman's grip was surprisingly firm. "I'm sorry, I don't—"

"Evelyn Fielding," the newcomer said by way of introduction. "I think you know my husband, Jack."

Olivia glanced around, thinking the idea of the security guard's friendly, if sometimes mocking, visage sounded like a bit of heaven.

"I'm sorry, dear," Evelyn apologized. "You won't find him. The last time he condescended to set foot in a church was to marry me."

Of course, Olivia thought with some disappointment. She could have used an ally.

"Though I think he might have put in an appearance if he'd known you were going to be here." Evelyn followed the line of Olivia's gaze to touch on Natalia where she was still speaking to the priest, heads close, their body language tense. "He adores both of you, you know. That man never could resist a love story." She snorted softly, though she was smiling. "I swear he'd read romance novels if he wasn't afraid of what it would do to his image."

Olivia blinked at Evelyn, uncertain what to say or do. It hadn't occurred to her that Jack might have discussed her relationship with Natalia with his wife. The hotel staff was one thing—jaded and cynical though they were, they were family of a sort—but this was—

"Relax, my dear," the older woman soothed as she patted Olivia's hand again in a sweet, grandmotherly way. "Some of us aren't still lodged in the 1950s." Her smile drained away as she noted the low-key battle still going on at the church steps. "And some of us are...condescending, sanctimonious jackass," she added the last part under her breath, but there was no doubt to whom she was referring.

"Ahm..." Olivia exhaled, her shock only deepening. Of the many things she might have predicted would come from the mouth of the petite, staid looking woman at her side, that was nowhere on the list.

"He was quite rude to my grandson and his partner when they came to visit, and while I love God...my religion...my community...even most facets of my church," Evelyn explained. "I really have no use for that bullying cretin." Turning to Olivia, she patted her hand lightly. "Have faith though," she said nodding toward Natalia. "She looks to be holding her own."

Olivia could only pray she was right, an irony which did not escape her.



Emma knew she was being a brat. She knew her mom and Natalia both loved her, knew they would never do anything to intentionally hurt her, even knew that she desperately wanted to be a family again—which the news she'd overheard the night before would lead to.

She knew all of that and she was still being a brat. Her passive-aggressive mode, Jane sometimes called it when she was being driven half mad in one of the occasional power battles between them—which Jane almost invariably lost, even if it sometimes took a day or two for the full surrender.

But at the same time, she felt perfectly justified in her feelings. Her mom had looked her right in the eye and told her that she was a part of things, would have a say in how they moved forward, and that her mom and Natalia hadn't planned anything past where they were right then, that they were still figuring things out and that Emma would be a part of making any decisions about the future.

And then Emma had gotten up to get a drink of water and overheard them talking about getting married, making it plain that they already had a plan and were just trying to figure out how to tell everyone.

She was hurt. She was angry. She felt left out, lied to, and ignored. Did they think she was some little kid who couldn't handle things?

She'd held out hope that her mom and Natalia would share the news over the breakfast table or sit her down and have one of their, "We have to talk," moments. Something.

But nothing.

Except church, which Emma found tedious and dull and would have preferred to avoid altogether, even if it did make Natalia happy.

"Well, at least you get to go to Chuckles afterward," Jodi pointed out with youthful practicality after the whole tale had come out between them while they wandered around the small garden that lay off to the side in the front of the church.

"Yeah," Emma muttered, though she took little pleasure in the small victory. "But I—"

A hand landed on her shoulder with firm authority as a man's voice broke in. "Hi, Em."

She spun, peering up at him. "Uncle Frank?" she said a little hesitantly. He'd always been nice enough to her, but she knew he was mad at her mom and Natalia, so she wasn't sure quite what to expect.

"I saw you were looking kinda down," he said, obviously trying to sound sympathetic, "and I just wondered if there's anything I can do to help."

Generally, Emma liked Frank okay. He kinda talked down to her and treated her like she wasn't very smart, but he talked to most people that way, so she didn't take it personally. At the same time, he wasn't mean or anything and he never yelled when she broke the rules. Still, there was something about how he'd showed up now and was talking to her that made her a little uneasy. She shook her head sharply. "I'm fine."

"I know that's not true, Emma," Frank chastised gently. "I saw how upset you were with your mom and Natalia... If you'll tell me about the problem, maybe I can help."

"There's no problem," she insisted, certain that telling Uncle Frank, who had nearly married Natalia, about what she'd overheard the night before wasn't a good idea.

His expression darkened slightly as a ruddy flush slid over his cheeks. "You know I'm a police officer, Emma, and you should never lie to the police."

"But I'm not."

Frank continued as though she hadn't spoken, his voice low and friendly, except his eyes didn't seem friendly to Emma. They seemed odd. "Y'know, you can tell me anything...even if it seems really bad or scary...because it's my job to protect people...and if anyone ever tried to hurt you or your mommy in any way I'd do everything in my power to stop them."

"Ok-ay," she said, uncertain why he felt the need to mention that. She glanced over, meeting Jodi's curious gaze and they shared a confused shrug. "I should probably go back with Mommy and Natalia now," she said after a beat, thinking that would end things.

Instead Frank crouched down and settled his other hand on her free shoulder. "In a minute, honey," he said, still using that soft, placating tone. "You know I care about you, Emma," he began after a beat, the words coming like he'd rehearsed some kind of speech and still in that too-soft, coaxing tone of voice. "If things hadn't fallen apart between your mom and I, you would've been my little girl..."

She stared doubtfully at him, but didn't argue. Arguing seemed like a bad choice. He was acting like adults always did when they said they wanted to hear what kids think, but really only wanted agreement.

"If anyone was hurting you, you could always come to me."

"Nobody's—" she started to deny, but he didn't let her finish.

"Even if that person was someone who most people like or think is a good person...I'd always believe you."

Emma knew that smile and that voice. Frank probably thought it was reassuring and maybe in some circumstances, it would have been. At that precise moment, however, it was getting kinda creepy. "Okay," she said cautiously, when he finally gave her a tiny window in which to speak. "But nobody's—"

"I saw how sad you were," he interrupted, his voice hardening, making it clear that wasn't the answer he wanted to hear. "Now you have to tell me why...and who caused it."

Emma subtly tried to shake off his hands, but he wouldn't let go, and she couldn't figure out what to say that would make release his hold so she could go back to her mom and Natalia. "Nobody," she insisted and saw the muscles along his jaw pull taut. She flashed a slightly panicked look Jodi's way.

"Emma," he said, his voice taking on a warning tone like the principal at her school used when he was really mad about something one of the older kids had done. "You know you should never lie to a police officer."

But she wasn't. At least not really. She was the one being a brat, and even if her mom and Natalia had lied to her about planning to get married, it wasn't like it had anything to do with Frank. Except maybe because he'd been going to marry Natalia and maybe wouldn't be very happy to find out that now Mommy was going to have what he'd wanted so badly.

"Emma," he repeated her name more sharply and his hands clamped down a little harder on her arms.

"It was nothing," she tried to explain, thinking that if he understood, he might calm down. "Just—"

He seized on her acknowledgment that there was a problem and pressed harder. "It was Natalia, wasn't it?" he cut her off. "She's the reason you were so sad this morning?"

Emma stared at him in confusion. Yeah, Natalia sorta was the reason, it wasn't like it was anything she'd meant to do. She was just in love with her mommy and it was all kinda strange and new, and there was the lying thing, but that was as much her mommy as Natalia.

And it was all just kinda bewildering and impossible to describe, but she didn't think that was what Frank was asking about.

Even though she didn't say anything, he picked up on her hesitation and pushed the point. "What did she do?" he pressured, not noticing the way she was staring at him oddly. "Did she hurt you or scare you in some way?"

"No," Emma insisted, appalled that anyone would think such a thing. "She just—"

But Frank wasn't hearing her. "Or was it your mother she was after?" he demanded. He saw the way she flinched in response to the question and pushed harder. "Did she threaten your mom someh—"

"No!" Emma snapped, confusion giving way to anger at his implication. Despite any problems, she loved Natalia fiercely and knew the woman would never hurt her or her mom. She tried to push his hands off her arms, but he wouldn't let go. Her mom had always told her nobody was supposed to be allowed to do that, so she shoved harder and felt his grip clamp down until it almost hurt. "She just said she'd marry her," she hissed when he still wouldn't let go, instinctively knowing how it would hurt him. She felt a rush of primal triumph as Frank was knocked back on his heels.

He stared at her in shock, his mouth working silently for a moment before he muttered, "What did you—"

"They're getting married," Emma said more decisively, feeling the flush of power at the way he paled and his eyes widened. This time he let go when she pushed at his hands.

"No," he growled as he shook his head in denial. "She's lying to your mother. She could never—"

"She loves Mommy," Emma shot back, something dangerous coiling tight inside her stomach as she saw his eyes flash in a way she didn't understand, but which ignited a strand of cold fury in her brain. "It was always mommy and me she wanted to be with," she added spitefully. She saw his hand curl into a tight fist at his side and flinched back, fear in her eyes.

"Problem here?" a man's voice broke in.

Slanting a gaze sideways, Emma realized it was Jodi's dad. Jodi was there behind him, her expression worried. She must have slipped off and gotten him sometime during the confrontation.

Frank's chin snapped up and he pushed to his feet as he eyed the newcomer. "Detective Frank Cooper," he said as he thrust a hand forward to shake with the younger man. "I was just telling the girls they shouldn't play over here...it's so hidden from view."

Jodi's dad frowned as though uncertain whether or not he believed the lie, but then Emma saw him relax. Frank was a police officer and adults always trusted anyone with a badge. "He's right, girls," he lectured in a kindly voice. "You should stay on the grass where we can see you better." He smiled at Frank. "Thanks for lending a hand, Detective."

Emma frowned up at Frank, her stomach knotting up as he smiled. "No problem, sir." Dark eyes dropped down to class with Emma's lighter gaze. "We'll talk more later, Emma..." Then he made like he was addressing both children. "And remember kids, you should never lie to the police."

Even though he made like he was talking to them both, Emma knew that comment was directed at her."I should get back to my mom and Natalia," she said quickly without acknowledging him. Then she spun and ran, well aware of Frank watching her the whole way.

Natalia had returned from speaking to the priest and Emma and it hadn't gone too well, judging by the dark cast to her expression, while an elderly woman was standing next to her Mommy.

"Good timing, Jellybean," her mommy said as she reached them. "We were just about to go in." She gestured to the grey-haired lady. "This is Mrs. Fielding...Jack's wife...y'know, from the Beacon."

Emma did know. Jack was the only one at the Beacon who always knew where her Mommy and Natalia were.

"She's invited us to sit with her," Natalia added, sounding relieved.

"It would be lovely, my dear," Mrs. Fielding said, leaning down ever so slightly to direct a cheery smile Emma's direction. "I do prefer sitting with people I like."

"Me too," Emma agreed and glanced over her shoulder, worried that Frank had followed her and would try and force his way in and join them. And both her mommies would let him because they felt guilty about the way Natalia had run away without marrying him.

But what she saw as she glanced over her shoulder wasn't Frank hurrying after her. He was still right where she'd left him, just barely visible at the edge of the garden.

But as she watched, a figure broke away from the shadows and stepped up to Frank to offer him something.

Even from that distance, she recognized him easily.

The man from the forest.

Heart thudding painfully hard in her chest, she ducked between her mommy and Natalia, catching a warm hand on either side of her. She knew they were surprised after her earlier behavior, but didn't care. They were love and safety and it's really hard to be a brat...

...when you're scared to death....