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Song Fic: How Do You Solve a Problem like Natalia?
mood: 
giggly
gigglyAuthor: Ann
Fandom: Guiding Light
Disclaimer: Guiding Light and its characters belong to CBS, at the moment anyway.
Summary: The nuns at the convent have true concerns about their latest visitor and hash it out with a song.
Thanks to
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flying_peanuts for the thumbs up.AN: Rogers and Hammerstein, please forgive me!
AN2: This reads much better if sung aloud. So…
She bakes all day and makes a mess
Her apron has a tear
She stumbles on her way to Mass
And mumbles on the stair
And underneath her wimple
Is a mass of long black hair
I even heard her crying in the abbey
She’s always prompt for chapel
And her penitence is real
She’s always prompt for everything
Except for every meal
I hate to have to say it
But I very firmly feel
Natalia’s suffering from bulimia.
I’d like to say a word in her behalf
Natalia’s cookies rock!
How do you solve a problem like Natalia?
How do you get inside that head of hers?
How do you find some words that mean Natalia?
A vision of light? A beacon of hope? A mess!
Many of things you know you’d like to tell her
Many of things she ought to understand
But how do you make her stay
And listen to what you say
How do you explain the colossal mistake she’s made?
Oh, how do you solve a problem like Natalia?
How do you knock some sense into her head?
When I’m with her I’m confused
She could make me turn to booze
Here she had it all and simply walked away,
From Olivia Freakin’ Spencer
Could she be any denser
She’s a dummy! She’s a saint! She’s a sheep!
She’d turn any woman gay
From their safe nest they would stray,
She could charm a nun into breaking her vows,
She is gentle! She is gruff!
She’s a mouse! She’s hot stuff!
She’s a nuisance! She’s a blessing!
She’s a lesbian!
How do you solve a problem like Natalia?
How do you get inside that head of hers?
How do you find some words that mean Natalia?
A vision of light? A beacon of hope? A mess!
Many of things you know you’d like to tell her
Many of things she ought to understand
But how do you make her stay
And listen to what you say
How do you explain the colossal mistake she’s made?
Oh, how do you solve a problem like Natalia?
How do you knock some sense into her head?
MucousMusic... LOL! Nice job!And I'm not sure if you saw it or not, but you won prizes in the calendar. PM or email me your snail addy and we can get your gifts sent out this week...
I like yours better. Long A is easier to sing for freakin' ever than short A.
You actually made me smile for a while - after reading this I had a strange compulsion to go watch The Sound of Music. It's such a cute movie! Unfortunately...then I had to go to work.
But yeah, the song is just so appropriate for Natalia. It can be her theme song. After all, Olivia has hers. XD
Pure brilliance!