Passion Perfect

Fandoms: CSI, Once Upon a Time, SVU, Trial by Jury, Guiding Light, Chicago Fire (so far)
Pairings: Hmm, numerous and mostly undecided, but there will definitely be some Shay/Dawson, Emma/Regina, Olivia/Alex and Kelly/Tracy along the way.
A/N: In addition to some ficlets I thought I'd try a rambling, not the least bit serious, story for Femslash February, and here it is. My aim is to add a page or two every day or so until it's finished, and hope to God it make some kind of sense.
Synopsis: It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a female police detective in possession of a hip-defying swagger must be in want of a wife.


It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a female police detective in possession of a hip-defying swagger must be in want of a wife. Or at least that was how the women of Femslash-Land viewed the matter and, as everyone knows, there isn't a force on the planet that can dissuade a lady of Femslash-Land from chasing down her prey once she's set her sights.

So it was with some nervousness that Sofia Curtis and Emma Swan took up their new posts as deputies in the Femslash-Land police department. For Sofia, it was an opportunity to escape the insanity of Las Vegas, where she felt almost invisible, and lick her wounds after a particularly disagreeable romantic liaison with her former boss's wife. Emma, on the other hand, was one of natures drifters, and was simply looking for a new place to hang her hat until boredom struck.

"Welcome to the FLPD," said Olivia Benson, the sheriff, and former possessor of one of the most spectacular swaggers in all the known world. "I hope you'll enjoy your stay with us."

Emma thought she sounded like a hotel receptionist but not wanting to rock the boat that early, she gave the requisite nod. "I'm sure we will." She looked towards Sofia who appeared equally unimpressed by the pink-shirt-wearing-sheriff. "One question; do we all have to wear pink?"

Olivia's face broke out into a megawatt smile. "Do you like it?" She gave a semi-twirl. "The Mayor said it was totally inappropriate, but I rather like it, don't you?"

Sofia and Emma exchanged a look but managed to refrain from agreeing with the obviously not-colour-blind Mayor. "So, we don't have to wear it?" Sofia checked.

"Not unless you want to," Olivia said hopefully, but when neither woman seemed eager to follow her fashion lead she pointed towards a door at the back of the station. "Uniforms and equipment are through that door."

The deputies quickly made for the door and away from the silently brooding sheriff who appeared to be buffing her nails with an item from the custom-built manicure set she kept in her holster.

"Do you think she's really the sheriff?" Emma asked the second they were on the other side of the door and out of earshot.

Sofia nodded. "I saw a picture of her from her NYPD days, and it's definitely the same woman." Olivia Benson had been somewhat of a legend back then; with an arrest rate that was second to none and a harem of women fighting for her attention, she'd been somewhat of an inspiration to Sofia Curtis, and one of the reasons she'd transferred from CSI to the Sheriff's Department. "I think I've made a terrible mistake."

"In coming here?" They may have only known each other a few days, but the ride down from Vegas had given them plenty of time to get aquatinted, and Emma rather liked the other blonde. Plus, with Sofia there, she wasn't the only outsider. "You're not thinking of leaving, are you?"

With a shrug, Sofia opened the nearest locker, which happened to be displaying her name, or at least a misspelled version of her name. "It's F not PH," she muttered, before yanking open the door and pulling out what she assumed was her new uniform. "It's not pink," she said, examining it closely.

Emma opened her own locker and withdrew an identical set of clothing. "Kind of informal, isn't it?" The sleeveless white T-shirt, Doc Martens and jeans were staples of her own wardrobe and didn't exactly scream law enforcement. "At least the jacket looks more official."

Sofia tried on the calfskin jacket, with its FLPD badge, and agreed that it looked the part. "Looks like we'll be sporting hip-holsters," she said, having ascertained that the jacket was far too snug to provide room for her 9mm.

"Ex-army issue, by the looks of them," said Emma, as she retrieved the handguns and holsters from the bottom of her locker. "Do you think we're meant to carry two guns at a time?" She'd often done so in the past, but it had never been official, and after meeting Olivia she hadn't got the impression that Femslash-Land was the crime capital of the world.

Sofia shrugged. "We can check with Benson after we've changed."

***

"Are they here yet?"

Olivia turned to see an eagerly approaching Alex Cabot and her shadow, Kelly Gafney, neither of whom appeared the slightest bit interested in her health or well-being. "I'm fine, thank you for asking," she muttered, snapping closed her manicure set and re-holstering the treasured item. "Is there something I can do for you, Counsellors?"

"Are they here yet?" Alex repeated, with the kind of snappish expectation that can only come from an ex with a grudge. "The new deputies," she added, when Olivia appeared baffled by the question.

"Yes."

"Well?" Newcomers to Femslash-Land were rare and newcomers with a swagger - because, surely, the universe wasn't so cruel as to send swagger-less female cops, again - were like gold-dust. "Are they hot?"

There should be a law, Olivia thought, that made it a criminal offence to ask your ex-lover about the hotness of other women, especially if those other women were subsequently going to be working for said ex-lover. "I failed to enquire as to their temperature," she said stiffly. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have work to do."

***

Across town the Mayor and her deputy were discussing the new additions to the Sheriff's Department and the wisdom of spending more public money on a police force that never seemed to do anything but wear pink and try to swagger.

"Do you think they're hot?" asked Doris Wolf, as she took the seat across from the Mayor. "Leslie Shay said that they stopped by the fire house this morning asking for directions and that they're both blondes!"

"Two blondes?" Mayor Mills looked bored, but then she had made it her goal in life to look bored by anything that wasn't her idea. "Did Shay say anything else?"

"Not really, Dawson came over and she kinda lost track of what she was saying, and then an alarm went off and they both disappeared." It was strange, Doris thought, that despite all the alarms and sirens going off at the fire station, she'd never known anyone in Femslash-Land that had had a fire.

The Mayor thought that it probably behoved her, as leader of their small community, to greet the two blondes in question and gauge for herself whether or not they were hot, erm, suitable for the task they'd been given. "Tell Thomas to bring the car around, I think it's time I met our two new blondes."