Title: Victory and Honor
Author’s note: Written for the one and onlynikkiandnora for her birthday. One of her favorite pairings. Hope you enjoy and don’t forget to wish her a Happy Birthday!
Disclaimer: Not mine, the idea belongs tonikkiandnora but the written finally is all mine. I hope you all enjoy. :]
Nikki looked at the date, two days left to tell Nora and still she hadn’t even hinted that her family was having dinner. She remembered how the night of drinks had ended, with her and Nora in bed for about two hours none stop. And damn if it wasn’t good, considering how sore she was the next day. ‘I must have done something right because damn that woman…’ Nikki thought as she was dragged out of her head when Nora came in.
“You know I’m looking forward to this weekend. All week it has been really good, I mean we have gotten our share of work, but nothing to bad… but now that I say it I realize I’m jinxing it. Damnit! Ok just pretend I didn’t say anything.”
“Nora we need to talk…” Nikki started before Nora interrupted her.
“See I knew it, I knew it. It’s because I said it, there is always something.” Nora said knowing that Nikki never started a conversation with the phrase “we need to talk.” And as experienced served her, it was never a good starter.
“Nah, it’s not because you said it, trust me this has been looming for a while, I just haven’t been able to come up with a way to say it without…well it’s just hard.” Nikki said, still unsure of how to put this without Nora losing it.
“Well Jesus Nikki, what is it? Are you dying or something because the look you’re giving me…” Nora said to try to lighten the mood, as Nikki’s face went a little pale Nora got really nervous.
“Not… exactly. Well not yet anyway, I think once I tell you I might…”Nikki said quietly.
“Nikki just tell me!” Nora said now a little scared at what Nikki might say. As she said it the phone began to ring. Nora looked at Nikki who just stood still and looked back at Nora. Nora was closer to the phone but she refused to move. Not until Nikki answered her and told her what was wrong. Little did they both know, it was going to be out in the open soon.
“Hey Nikki and Nora its Bobby. Mom said she wanted you both to come at about 7. And look Nora… I know that you still might be upset, but like I said before I know the family can handle you dating Nikki. It took me a while but I finally got it, she makes you happy and I have seen that and they deserve to know, so let ‘em know big sis, ok? Just let them in, I promise they won’t turn away. Alright, I gotta go. I will see you both on Friday.” Bobby said on the machine. A small beep filled the silence.
Nora’s eye filled with anger and pure panic. She looked directly into Nikki’s eyes. She could see her apologetic eyes staring back at her. It was hard to stand there, knowing what was coming, and for the first time in her life Nora Delaney was scared out of her mind. She moved and grabbed her jacket and headed outside. She had no idea what to say, but right now she needed some air. She didn’t even need to look back at Nikki; she could feel the gaze of panic and regret bearing into her back. But right now she couldn’t deal with it. It was all too much.
Nikki stood in the kitchen shocked; she had no idea what to do. She expected Nora to get upset but she never expected her to leave like that; without a word, without even an argument. That was far worse than Nikki could have imagined. But once she got herself back together, she grabbed her coat and went after Nora. She didn’t have to go very far because Nora was pacing back and forth in their courtyard. She watched her pace for a bit before she tried to say something. “Nora…”
“How long have you known about this Nikki? When did you tell? Why did you tell them? I mean you knew Nikki, well I at least I thought you knew how important this was to me. I’m not ready for them to know Nikki, how could you do this?” Nora asked, her emotions getting the better of her, she had never gotten a panic attack before but she was sure this is what it felt like, so she began to force herself to calm down. She saw Nikki slowly come down their stairs, knowing that she needed space. And Nikki gave it happily.
“I didn’t tell them, Bobby accidentally let it slip that you were dating someone. And… they want you and that person for dinner next week.” Nikki said. She could see Nora slowly cooling down, but she knew this was just the beginning.
“I’m going to kill him.” Nora said, thinking of how she could hide the body. She loved her brother but… ‘Shit, Shit SHIT!’ Nora thought as she began to pace again.
“Nora, honey look it might not be that bad…” Nikki started before she was interrupted by the fuming blonde.
“You have no idea how bad this is Nikki. You don’t have to worry about this like I do.” Nora said.
“Yes I did, you don’t think it was hard for my daddy to know that his only daughter was bisexual. You think that was easy for him to hear, it wasn’t and for a few months he couldn’t even look at me.” Nikki said.
“Yeah but it turned out ok. And your dad, Darius, and Mama accepted you. And you didn’t have to worry about splitting up your family. They all kept talking to you… accepting you. You don’t know my family.” Nora said as her pace began to quicken and her feet began to pound harder on the cement.
“Nora, honey I’m sure it’ll be just fine.” Nikki said as she walked up to Nora and gently grabbed her arm, trying to stop her from pacing around and getting herself more upset. Nikki more than a little hurt when Nora pulled away from her.
“No you don’t know! You can’t… I don’t want to be the one to break up my family. Unlike you I don’t have backup family to support me. I could very well break my family right down the middle. Bobby will be on my side yes, but what would happen when mom refused to talk to me anymore, what happens when they disown me? What happens when they make me chose between you or them? What then Nikki? What then?” Nora asked as she continued to pace.
Nikki’s eyes began to water as her fears came to the surface.
One year and two months ago…
“Nikki, child, why don’t you come in here and help Mama with the dishes? Let Darius and Nora relax a little.” Mama yelled out the kitchen door. She wanted to talk to her troubled grandchild. She knew her well, and she needed to get something off her chest, she wasn’t sure exactly what it was, but it felt like fear.
“Yes Mama.” Nikki said as she went into the kitchen with all the dishes in her hands. She knew that Mama wanted to talk to her alone, and this was her subtle way of asking, she had grown wise to her ways but they always worked out well.
“Well child I have to say, you do know how to pick ‘em. That girl in there is somethin’ else. But I have to ask baby, what is holdin’ you back? Why are you pullin’ away from this?” Mama asked as she continued to clean the dishes.
“I don’t know Mama, she just so…” Nikki started and realized she had no words to capture everything that Nora was and that was another thing that worried her.
“Yeah child… you got it bad don’t yeah.” Mama said with a smile, knowing that her little one was happy. And that is all she ever wanted for her.
“Yeah I do Mama, I really do.” Nikki started, as her doubts began to push forward in her mind.
“Well then why do I feel like that sentence there ain’t finished yet?” Mama asked.
“Because… I love her I do, and that is scary in and of itself. But she is so afraid… and I’m worried that…” Nikki said as she couldn’t find the right words to finish.
“You worried that her fears will not let her love you properly. You afraid you might love her more than she loves you.” Mama said knowingly. She remembered exactly how hard it was to be young and foolish.
“No and yes… I’m afraid she is afraid to completely let me into her life. That I won’t be able to be a part of her family the way she is a part of mine. I don’t want to keep being in fear with her; I know it will drive us apart. I’ve seen it happen, and it never ends well.” Nikki said, somewhat knowing of this problem from firsthand experience.
“Aww baby, fear is a power thing, but so is love. And that child in there loves you, I can see it in her eyes. But given into that fear can stop love baby, don’t let it. Let her love you, and love her in turn, that is the only way it should be child. That is the only way it should be.” Mama said as she continued to move around the kitchen with ease.
“Then tell me Nora, tell me what scares you so much?! Tell me why having them possibly know about us scares you!” Nikki said, letting her hurt and anger mix together.
“You! Don’t you see… if they gave me that ultimatum, between you or them, I would chose… you. And what does that make me? That I have no problem breaking up my family and damning all those years where all they did was support and care for me because I can’t stand being without you? What kind of person does that make me? I don’t want to make that choice Nikki… I don’t.” Nora said as she looked directly into Nikki’s eyes, knowing that her greatest fear was laid out right in front of her. For the first time she was completely and utterly vulnerable and it was too much for her to handle. “I need to go for a walk.” Nora said, leaving Nikki standing in the courtyard.