FANDOM: Guiding Light
RATING: R this time, I think.
SUMMARY: Natalia is forced to come to terms with her feelings alone when Olivia is injured.
TIMELINE: Begins immediately after the episode on 17th of April and diverges from the canon storyline at that point.
A/N - I was supposed to be marking essays this afternoon. Do you think my students will give me a pass if I tell them I was writing smut instead? Can one of you write me a note?
[Part 1] [Part 2] [Part 3] [Part 4] [Part 5] [Part 6] [Part 7] [Part 8] [Part 9] [Part 10] [Part 11] [Part 12] [Part 13] [Part 14] [Part 15] [Part 16] [Part 17] [Part 18] [Part 19] [Part 20] [Part 21] [Part 22] [Part 23] [Part 24] [Part 25]
Olivia Spencer had had a lot of sex in her life. That wasn't exactly a secret. She could barely go anywhere in this town without encountering someone she'd seen naked. It had never really meant anything though. Oh, it was exciting, even thrilling sometimes, but she'd never been nervous beforehand, never found her heart racing and her fingers trembling so badly that she couldn't even undo the buttons on her lover's shirt.
"Let me," Natalia said smoothly, her hands coming up to cover Olivia's and still them. Slowly she undid each button one by one until finally her shirt was hanging open, revealing smooth skin and a lacy bra the colour of sin itself. Olivia spread her hands over her stomach and felt her muscles clench.
"Someone was confident when she got dressed this morning," she muttered.
Natalia's lips twitched. "Like you could possibly resist me," she replied, planting her hands on either side of Olivia's head and leaning down.
"No, I couldn't," Olivia agreed, her lips parting to accept the first of many, many kisses. Her fingers curled round Natalia's hips, pulling her closer.
"I love you," Natalia murmured against her lips, her hands sliding under Olivia's T-shirt and pushing it up. They parted long enough for the shirt and the T-shirt to disappear onto the floor, and then Natalia stretched out on top of her lover, kissing her like she wouldn't get another chance.
"Oh my God," Olivia moaned, her hands leading a trail of gooseflesh down Natalia's back.
"Right back atcha," Natalia breathed, her hands tangling in Olivia's hair as she kissed her again, and again, and again.
For a long time Olivia lost herself in the sensation of skin and lips and the delicious weight of Natalia pressing her into the mattress. "This is new, right?" she said in the brief gap between one kiss and the next. "We haven't done this before, have we?"
Natalia managed a brief shake of her head. "No..."
Olivia bent her head to Natalia's throat, kissing that soft spot where her neck met her shoulder. "What the hell was wrong with us?"
Natalia laughed. What indeed? Fear and uncertainty and other people's interpretations of a holy book translated and retranslated over thousands of years like a massive game of Telephone all dwarfed in comparison to how good, how unutterably right this felt. Her body fit with Olivia's like they were two halves of a matching pair. This was it for Natalia, she realised. This was what she was meant to have. God had made this woman with his own two hands...for her.
Olivia rolled them over so Natalia was on her back and she was on her side. Their legs tangled together of their own accord as Olivia looked down on Natalia, leaning her head on one hand. "You are so beautiful," she whispered, her fingers trailing a path from Natalia's clavicle to her navel. Natalia's breath hitched.
"Not as beautiful as you," she said, and meant it. There was no-one in the world to match Olivia Spencer. Every person who'd loved her before and let her go was a fool.
Olivia blushed and looked away. Natalia smiled slowly, utterly enchanted by this sudden shyness. "What? Come on, people have told you you're beautiful before."
Olivia nodded, and closed her eyes. "Yes, she whispered. "I just haven't ever felt it before..."
The smile faded from Natalia's face, her expression turning deep and serious. "You are," she said, threading her fingers through Olivia's hair. "You're beautiful. You're clever. You're charming. You're good. You're kind. You're everything."
Olivia turned to her with tears in her eyes. Natalia leaned up and tenderly kissed them away, and then for long moments there were no more words. Lips and skin and trembling hands and muffled sighs were all that existed.
"I don't really know what I'm doing," Olivia admitted at last, tearing her lips from Natalia's overheated skin with an effort.
Natalia breathed deeply. "There isn't a script for this you know," she muttered. "Just...let's do what we feel like doing. Whatever feels right..."
Olivia stretched so she was lying half on top of her lover. "Everything feels right," she said.
Natalia smiled. "Then let's do everything."
A slow smile spread across Olivia's face as her hands dipped to the fastening of Natalia's jeans. "Everything? I don't think we have time. Not today anyway."
Natalia hooked her arms round Olivia's neck. "Hmm. Should we make a list? Prioritise?"
Olivia grinned as her fingers slid inside the waistband of Natalia's jeans. "Maybe. What should be number one?"
Natalia pinned her with eyes shaded dark with desire and love. "I really want you inside me," she said, her voice low and gravelly.
A lick of fire coursed through Olivia's blood and she thought she might have growled. "Oh, fuck," she groaned, baring her teeth a little as she steadied herself. "If you don't get out of these clothes right now I'm going to tear them off."
Natalia's fingers were busy with the buttons and zip of Olivia's slacks. "Ditto," she ground out.
Natalia didn't really remember how the rest of their clothes ended up on the floor, and she didn't care. All that mattered was the feeling of Olivia and her, together finally, lips and limbs tangling together like they'd been doing it forever. The world had contracted yet again, but Natalia was also hyper aware of everything around her - the warm summer breeze coming through the window, the bark of a dog somewhere in the distance, the chirp of a bird in the oak outside the window. And then Olivia raised up and raked those remarkable eyes across her face and all that melted away like a pavement chalk drawing in the rain.
"I love you," Olivia whispered. "I feel like...I've been waiting for you...all my life..."
Tears nipped at Natalia's eyes. "I'm here," she breathed. "Oh, honey...I'm here..."
A deep, breathless kiss was her reply and when Olivia pulled away there was fire in her eyes. "I can't get enough of you," she murmured, dipping her head to Natalia's throat. Natalia felt teeth nipping at her and knew she'd be marked the next day.
"You've got me," she moaned. "Everything, anything you want."
Olivia's breath left her in a rush as she arched her back and trailed her hands down Natalia's sides. "I won't break," Natalia whispered. "You can...you can have me. Any way you want..."
Olivia's eyes flickered shut and she ground her hips into Natalia's on pure instinct. "Oh Jesus," she muttered. "Please...I want this to be perfect for you..."
Natalia cupped her lover's face in her hands. "It already is," she said steadily but softly. "Because I'm with you." Slowly and deliberately she took Olivia's hand in hers and pressed them between their bodies. "This is what you do to me," she murmured, and pushed Olivia's fingers into wet heat.
The breath left both their bodies in a rush. "Oh, Natalia..." Olivia moaned. Her fingers twitched a little and Natalia squeezed her eyes shut.
"Inside," she gasped. "Please...I need you."
Natalia grabbed Olivia's wrist in a punishing grip. "If I don't have you inside me right now I'm going to fucking die. You don't want me to die, do you?"
"Nuh uh," Olivia replied and slid two fingers all the way inside her lover in one stroke.
"Oh, Jesus!" Natalia clutched at Olivia's shoulders and arched her back, her head thumping back into the pillow. Olivia's eyes squeezed shut. She had never felt anything like this before, never even imagined... The sensation of warmth and wetness and her lover's muscles contracting on her fingers... For an awful moment she actually thought she was going to cry. How terrible would that be? Olivia freakin' Spencer brought to her (metaphorical) knees by a tiny slip of a woman, by Natalia Rivera, her sometime rival, then friend, and then...and then...
Everything, her mind supplied. She's everything.
Olivia kissed her desperately and added a third finger, flattening the heel of her hand against Natalia's heat. Natalia ground down against her instinctively, her nails scraping almost painfully against her shoulders. They moved together for what felt like forever. Time had lost all meaning; they were outside it, outside the world. They were in their own little pocket of existence and nothing mattered but love, and desire, and that glorious, rare and precious moment when they intersected.
"Mmmph, Olivia," Natalia moaned at last. "I've been waiting so long...I think...oh...I'm going to..."
Olivia silenced her with her lips. "Yes baby," she whispered. "Yes. Let go, I want to see you..."
When it happened Natalia actually sobbed. A mix of pleasure, love and indescribable joy crashed into her like a train and Natalia had the strangest sense that the world had contracted to the length and breadth of their twined bodies, and yet also simultaneously expanded wider than she'd dreamed was possible. For an endless moment she felt like she was floating a foot off the bed, and then she came crashing down and was caught by Olivia's strong arms.
She shuddered, muscles twitching and clenching still, her heart racing, her breath coming in hitching gasps. Olivia wrapped her arms around her tightly and she clung to her, eyes clenched shut.
Something had just happened, she realised, something she'd never felt before. "Ecstasy..." she murmured, and wasn't aware she'd even spoken until she felt the rumble of Olivia's laughter against her chest and the press of her lips against her forehead.
"That good huh?" She sounded proud of herself.
Natalia smiled. "Yes," she breathed against her lover's skin. "But that's not what I meant." She raised herself up onto one arm with effort, gazing seriously into dark green eyes. "I'm talking about ecstasy," she said. "Not just feeling good - even really, really good. It means...being outside yourself, I guess." She closed her eyes. "I could feel me," she breathed. "And you. I could feel your heart beating. I could feel the birds singing. I could feel the grass growing." She opened her eyes and trailed her fingers across the planes of Olivia's face. "I could feel God," she whispered rapturously. "In you, in me. In our love...didn't you?"
Olivia couldn't bring herself to meet Natalia's eyes. "I don't think I've ever felt God, Natalia," she admitted, sadness washing through her at that thought for the first time. At that moment she thought she might have given anything to have felt what Natalia had just felt. "But I know what I see when I look in your eyes."
Natalia curled her fingers under her chin and tilted her head up, forcing her to meet her steady gaze. "What?" she breathed.
Olivia attempted a smile, although it didn't quite come off. "Everything," she said simply.
Natalia was silent for a long, long moment. Then she nodded slowly and smiled. "Good enough," she said, then ran her suddenly fire-filled eyes across Olivia's body. She bared her teeth.
A/N - With thanks to mightbefound for the inspiration for the "What the hell was wrong with us?" line.