Fandom - Guiding Light
Pairing - Olivia/Natalia, mostly
Warnings and/or Spoilers - ANGST OF EPIC-NESS. And this is full of the spoilers for the week of June the 1st. Do not read if you do not want to know certain things that are going to happen. This is my take on it.
Summary - Olivia has traveled this way before. One-shot
Rating - PG
Notes - I needed to vent.
She has made so many mistakes. They are the roads where she knows all the cracks and all the holes. She knows where it curves and where it goes on for miles.
She chastises herself for not seeing the signs, the ones that tell her that she is about to fuck up big time.
It started with a gnawing doubt that no soft look or pleading touch could soothe. And the words went in one ear and went out the other, leaving Olivia with only desperate thoughts.
She saw the chasm get wider and felt like the world was pushing her down again.
She was losing again. She was the odd-man out again. She was never going to get the farm-house or the happy family or the woman who made Olivia want all those things again.
And the doubt solidified, baiting her with dreams unfulfilled. She has done this before, following someone and lingered for their love. She has done all this before.
He was fixing her car. They were talking. And, without a second of foreplay, they are kissing.
It feeds the fear. It makes the distance longer.
But it slams into her consciousness like the hammer of God. Like the hammer of Natalia's God.
And in her head, brown eyes are shattering. And in her head, a beautiful face is breaking.
And in her head, all those conversations are running wild, words of devotion and patience, words of longing and hope... in Olivia's head is Natalia, asking for a little more time and promising the world.
If that promise were a lie, though, this kiss wouldn't hurt so damn much.
And I wouldn't feel like I am racing headlong down the worst road I could find.