Rating: PG-13 to start, for violence (non-sexual) and language. I am not any kind of a medical expert so if there are some glaring errors, please forgive me.
Disclaimer: I don’t own the Guiding Light characters, they belong to CBS and Proctor and Gamble.
Summary: This is set in the spring of 2009. I’ve taking some liberties with the storyline, mainly Natalia never slept with Frank, hence no engagement etc. So our girls have been just continuing forward raising Emma and getting closer to each other though they are still technically just friends, but that will change… This is a hurt/comfort story so they are headed on a rough ride.
Author’s Note: This is my first fan fiction so please be gentle. This would not have been possible if not for the persistent nudging and awesome editing of my beta/great friend croftlara. Comments are welcome.
1. Lucy Maud Montgomery, Anne Of Green Gables (L. C. Page & Co., 1908)
( Part 1 ) ( Parts 2 & 3 ) ( Part 4 ) ( Parts 5 & 6 ) ( Part 7 ) ( Part 8 ) ( Part 9 ) ( Part 10 ) ( Part 11 ) ( Part 12 ) ( Part 13 ) ( Parts 14 & 15 ) ( Part 16 )
With her mother’s help Emma changed into her pajamas, brushed her teeth and prepared for bed. Emma thought her mommy was being too helpful because she was a big girl and could get ready for bed on her own but she didn’t say anything because she was just happy to have both of her parents here. As she climbed up in the double bed she thought, Daddy never reads to me, I want him to read the most.
While Olivia folded and put away the discarded clothes, Emma climbed under the sheets as Phillip entered the room with a glass of water for his little girl in case she got thirsty in the night. As he placed the glass on the nightstand he heard Emma say, “Daddy, come and sit here.” Emma patted the bed next to her. “Will you start reading my book?”
Phillip got comfortable with his back against the headboard while Emma snuggled up to him. “Of course sweetheart. Are we starting at the beginning or have you already read some?”
Emma looked hopeful and asked, “Can we go back to the start?” Hehe he doesn’t know that Natalia read me most of the book again already.
Phillip smiled and opened the book to the first page while he slipped the bookmark, which had been peeking out of the pages, into his sleeve so Emma could think she had pulled one over on him.
Emma interrupted just as Phillip was about to start reading when she noticed that mommy had finished with the clothes. “Mommy! Come sit on this side.” Emma patted the other side of the bed.
Olivia slid in beside Emma on her right side and watched as Phillip started to read the story.
“Mrs. Rachel Lynde lived just where the Avonlea main road dipped down into a little hollow, fringed with alders and ladies’ eardrops and traversed by a brook that had its source away back in the woods of the old Cuthbert place…”
Olivia tuned out Phillips voice; she had read the book to her daughter twice and more recently listened as Natalia had begun to read it to Emma.
Olivia leaned back and closed her eyes thinking about the brown-eyed Latina who had come to mean so much to Emma. Olivia smiled; she means so much to me too.
As much as I want to be here with Emma, I also want to be there with you. Buzz hadn’t called so she took that as a good sign. She would go back to Natalia after Emma fell asleep.
Olivia’s mind drifted until she found herself ‘sitting on the bench on the porch outside waiting. But she didn’t know for what. She just kept watching down the driveway to the road, waiting. To her right she saw her family playing catch with a football on the lawn. Emma squealed as Rafe tickled her when she caught the ball, causing it to drop to the ground. Ava ran over and picked it up and threw it to Natalia who fumbled at first but caught it. Olivia watched them as they laughed and teased. She saw Natalia turn to her and wave her over but Olivia was rooted to the bench. She could see the wrinkle appear in Natalia’s forehead that indicated that she couldn’t understand why Olivia wasn’t coming to play. Olivia struggled and struggled, but she could not get up, she could not speak. Olivia could feel a pressure on her, almost holding her down. She still struggled to move from the bench, Natalia still waiting for her. The moment she’d taken her eyes from the driveway and the road, she’d missed the dark car turn and pull into the driveway. She heard too late the doors open and then two men exit the car. She could see that Natalia, Emma, Rafe and Ava didn’t notice the car or the men. Finding her voice, she screamed herself hoarse as she struggled and watched as the men approached her family.’
“Olivia!” came the harsh whisper accompanied by a shake.
“Whaaa…?” Oh God, not again. Olivia recognized the dream; she sat up and tried to remember where she was, sweating and breathing hard she queried, “Phillip?”
Phillip looked at her with concern etched on his face, “Shhhh, Emma’s asleep. Are you okay? You were crying and talking in your sleep...”
Olivia had no intentions of sharing her feelings with her ex. Mentally shaking off the dream and struggling to control her breathing, she willed her heart to slow down and answered, “I’m fine. When did Emma fall asleep?”
Phillip could see that Olivia was shaken but decided not to push her. She was allowed a bad dream or two considering what she’d been through.
“She fell asleep about twenty minutes ago, I didn’t want to wake you and to be honest; I wasn’t ready to leave Emma yet, so I just kept reading.”
Olivia nodded, “Umm….” I can’t believe I fell asleep while he was here… damn it. Olivia, angry and embarrassed with herself for showing any kind of perceived weakness, finally managed to calm her ragged breathing. I can’t give that man a chance to think I’m not capable of caring for Emma, “We should probably go back to the living room and wait for Jane so we don’t disturb Emma.”
Phillip reluctantly agreed, “Okay.”
Each parent took their time tucking in and kissing their child good night before the pair quietly left the bedroom.
They sat on either end of the couch, an uncomfortable silence hung over them like a dark cloud. Olivia spoke first “Jane should be back soon.”
Phillip smiled and agreed, “Yep. I don’t mind; I’m not in any rush.” I don’t want to leave my baby girl.
Something had been niggling at Phillip since he had heard that Emma was staying with Jane. He wasn’t sure how it would be received but he could hold his tongue no longer.
She turned to him and didn’t like the look in his eyes. She could see what was coming before he said it.
“I’d like to take Emma home with me while all of this is going on. Until you get back into the farmhouse or The Beacon.”
Olivia’s heart started drumming in her chest while Phillip continued, “She shouldn’t be here with her nanny, she should be with her father, I can take care of her.”
Memories flooded back to another time when Phillip thought he was best to take care of her. Olivia’s stomach did a sick flip while her hands involuntarily clenched and unclenched. Olivia stood and walked to Phillip, standing over him, fierce green eyes burrowing into blue, she said only, “You’re not taking my daughter.”
Phillip thought he had seen this look once before. Not on a person but on a mother lioness in one of those nature shows on ‘Discovery’. He could have sworn he heard Olivia growl.
Holding up his hands to protect and hopefully calm the stalking predator in front of him he tried to reason with the angry mother, “Olivia, wait. I’m not saying I’m taking her anywhere. I just think she should be with family.” He could admit he was a little afraid of Olivia right now but he had no intention of backing down, so he stood up to face her.
“Olivia, I promise you can come and get her whenever you want, I just don’t want to leave her with some stranger.”
Olivia could only see this as a ploy to take her daughter from her again. She wouldn’t let it happen, not this time. “I will kill you with my bare hands if you try to take her away from me Phillip.”
“Ya know what? I believe you Olivia. But I need you to understand that I’m not trying to take her away from you.” Phillip could see that Olivia was gripped in an old nightmare, one that he had caused several years ago.
“Olivia just think, okay? You have to have seen the changes in me, if you didn’t you wouldn’t have allowed those visits I’ve had with Emma recently. I’m not the same person I was. I don’t want to hurt Emma or you. Please trust me.”
Her heart was beginning to slow but her anger was still present. She nearly spat at the man she once loved, “How dare you Phillip? Who do you think you are? You don’t get to just come back and say, ‘I’m not crazy now, I’m ready to be her father.’” She was moving in on her prey as she spoke, Phillip stepped back as she continued to approach, “You haven’t earned that right. You take her out for ice cream or a movie and then read her a book and think, ‘Hey look at me, I’m a great dad’. Well fuck you Phillip! And fuck your family too; they’re not getting their claws into my kid.”
Phillip couldn’t help but agree with some of the things she was saying but he felt she was being totally unreasonable. “I agree! I’ve been a shitty father to all of my kids. I’ve screwed up. But Emma loves me and I love her and I want the chance to finally be a good dad. I’m trying with Lizzie, James and if Harley would let me speak with him; Zack, maybe I’ve got a long way to go but all I can do is try. I need you to give me the benefit of the doubt.”
Olivia couldn’t help her angry tears from showing and she sadly admitted, “But I don’t trust you Phillip. How am I supposed to trust you? You kidnapped my baby. Did you think I would just forget about that because she loves you? I’m her mother Phillip, it’s my job to protect her even if she never knows from what.” Olivia sighed and allowed a moment to admit to herself, I didn’t protect her very well last night, did I?
Phillip hung his head. “I thought we were moving forward. I thought you were seeing me more for who I am now than the man I was before when I did those terrible things.”
“Well you’ll have to excuse me if, one day after my family is held hostage at gunpoint and my best friend is shot, maybe I’m not feeling very trusting.”
At that moment, the door to the apartment opened and Jane entered. Sensing something wasn’t right, she offered, “I can come back if this is a bad time?”
Olivia answered, “No, everything is fine. Mr. Spaulding was just leaving.”
“Olivia.” Phillip sighed.
“I’ll be in touch.” Then for her daughter’s sake added, “I promise.” As much as she hated it right now, Emma did really love Phillip and want him in her life.
“Fine,” Phillip knew to take what he could get from the unpredictable woman. “Do you still want me to drive you back to the hospital?” Phillip offered.
“I’ll take a cab.”
“Olivia. For what it’s worth, thank you for tonight. It meant a lot to be here for her.”
Olivia stared up at him and pressed her lips together to hold back what was left of her anger, “Good night Phillip.”
Taking in Olivia’s shaking form and thinking about the nightmare that he saw Olivia clearly in the throes of, he looked at her and sincerely said, “Take care of yourself Olivia. If you or Emma need anything, you know where I am.”
With that he said goodbye to Jane and left.
When the door was closed and he was gone, Jane came to Olivia and put her hand on Olivia’s shaking arm, “You okay?”
Olivia spun her head to the side to look Jane in the eyes, “Don’t ever let him see her without my approval, got it?”
Jane shook her head and answered quickly and not without a little fear, “I never do.” Except for that one time at Company but that wasn’t really my fault, he just happened to be there.
“I’m gonna call a cab.” Olivia turned from Jane and walked back toward the bedroom that held her daughter while she pulled out her Blackberry and called the cab company thinking, I need to ask Rick to check that little heart monitor thing I’ve got, if the past twenty-four hours hasn’t set it off, it’s gotta be broken.
To be continued...