Rating: PG-13 to start, for violence (non-sexual) and language. I am not any kind of a medical expert so if there are some glaring errors, please forgive me.
Disclaimer: I don’t own the Guiding Light characters, they belong to CBS and Proctor and Gamble.
Summary: This is set in the spring of 2009. I’ve taking some liberties with the storyline, mainly Natalia never slept with Frank, hence no engagement etc. So our girls have been just continuing forward raising Emma and getting closer to each other though they are still technically just friends, but that will change… This is a hurt/comfort story so they are headed on a rough ride.
Author’s Note: This is my first fan fiction so please be gentle. This would not have been possible if not for the persistent nudging and awesome editing of my beta/great friend croftlara. Comments are welcome.
( Part 1 ) ( Parts 2 & 3 ) ( Part 4 ) ( Parts 5 & 6 ) ( Part 7 ) ( Part 8 ) ( Part 9 ) ( Part 10 ) ( Part 11 ) ( Part 12 ) ( Part 13 ) ( Parts 14 & 15 ) ( Part 16 ) ( Part 17 ) ( Part 18 ) ( Part 19 ) ( Part 20 ) ( Part 21 ) ( Part 22 ) ( Part 23 )
The taxi ride to Jane’s seemed awfully quick, Olivia thought perhaps she had fallen asleep for part of the ride. She paid the driver, exited the car and walked up to Jane’s building. It took just a moment after she used the intercom to announce her arrival for the sound of the buzzer of the security door to go off. A short and uneventful elevator ride later she appeared at the door to the apartment just as it opened and Emma came running out.
“Mommy!” Emma leapt into her mother’s arms and gave her a hug, which was returned by Olivia with as much vigor as she received. “I missed you mommy.”
“I missed you too baby.”
With a hopeful look on her face Emma asked, “Are we going to see Natalia now?”
“Soon. I thought we’d have some lunch first because Natalia’s sleeping right now.”
At that moment Jane appeared. “Hi Olivia.” Taking in the haggard looking appearance of her boss, she added, “How are you feeling?”
Not believing for a second that Olivia actually was fine but not in a position to push it, Jane offered, “Emma and I were just going to make one of her favourites; grilled cheese sandwiches and tomato soup. Is that okay for you too?”
Olivia smiled, “That would be lovely, thank you.”
“Well why don’t you come in and get comfortable on the couch, Emma and I will let you know when it’s ready.”
Emma added, “Yeah mommy.” Now standing next to her mother, Emma took Olivia’s hand and started to pull her into the apartment. “I’ll make yours with lots of cheese.”
Olivia bent down to kiss her daughter’s head, “Thank you Jellybean. I’d really like that.”
Excited to be able to cook for her mommy just like she would do with Natalia sometimes, she pushed Olivia onto the couch and said, “Okay, I’ll be right back,” before running off to the kitchen with Jane in tow.
Olivia laughed lightly as she got comfortable on the couch. Her head was still pounding out a continual beat and she wasn’t sure that she felt like eating with the way her stomach was feeling. It’d been ‘off’ since… well if she wanted to admit it to herself, since the knock on the head. She tipped her head back and rested it on the back of the couch while bringing her fingers up to pinch the bridge of her nose, then moved her hand over to feel the bump on the side of her head. Oh Rick, I know you’re right, I have a concussion but it can’t be too bad right? I’m still thinking relatively straight.
Sitting truly quietly for the first time since she could remember, Olivia really felt the pain now and it was bad enough that she made an agreement with herself to see Dr. Rick when things settled down a bit.
‘Sitting on the bench on the porch outside waiting. But she didn’t know for what. She just kept watching down the driveway to the road, waiting. To her right she saw her family playing catch with a football on the lawn. Emma squealed as Rafe tickled her when she caught the ball, causing it to drop to the ground. Ava ran over and picked it up and threw it to Natalia who fumbled at first but caught it. Olivia watched them as they laughed and teased. She saw Natalia turn to her and wave her over but Olivia was rooted to the bench. She could see the wrinkle appear in Natalia’s forehead that indicated that she couldn’t understand why Olivia wasn’t coming to play. “Mommy?”‘
“Mommy?” Emma was pushing at Olivia’s arm, “Mommy, wake up, lunch is ready”
Sitting up and blinking her eyes, Olivia tried to focus and remember where she was. “Emma?” She was looking right at the child and yet wasn’t really seeing her.
Jane moved to the little girl when she sensed that Olivia needed a minute and put her hand on Emma’s back, “Em, why don’t you go sit at the table, we’ll be right there.”
Emma was confused but did as she was told while Jane tentatively put her hand on Olivia’s shoulder. “Olivia. You okay? You seemed to be having a bad dream.”
“Yes. I’m right here. You’re in my apartment remember? Emma and I made lunch. Do you think you’d like to come and eat?” Okay I know she’s tired, but what the hell? She’s scaring me, it’s like she doesn’t know where she is.
Olivia looked at Jane, her eyes now beginning to focus and the remnants of the recurring dream beginning to dissipate. “How long have I been asleep?”
“I don’t know, not long but we’ve been trying to wake you for a few minutes.”
“Emma,” Olivia stood on shaky legs and looked around the room, “is she okay?” She faltered as she moved away from the couch to find Emma.
“She’s fine, let me help you.” Jane grabbed Olivia’s arm to steady her. “Olivia, I think you should see a doctor.”
At the mention of doctor, Olivia snapped, “No!” Then realizing Jane was just trying to help and remembering her own agreement with herself to see Rick, she softened. “Thank you Jane, I already know I have a concussion. I just can’t take the time to worry about it right now. I’m taking Tylenol for the headache. I’ll be fine.”
Damn, what do I say to that? What am I supposed to do? She looks like she could take my head off in one moment and hug me in the next. I know you want to put up this fierce Olivia Spencer, ‘I’m tough, nothing touches me’ front for Emma but...oh Olivia, you look like you’re ready to drop. Feeling bold, Jane insisted, “I know it’s not my place but I think you really should rest. I’m sure Emma and Natalia would understand.”
How dare you speak for Natalia? Holding back from snapping again at her helpful employee, Olivia took a calming breath, “Really Jane I’m fine. You worry about Emma, I’ll take care of Natalia and me.” Olivia pulled away from Jane’s grasp and walked to the table where Emma sat in front of her soup and uneaten sandwich leaving her employee to follow quietly behind.
“Looks good Jellybean.”
Emma was concerned. “Are you okay mommy? We couldn’t wake you up.”
Bending down to eye level with the child, Olivia answered, “I’m fine honey. I just had a little trouble waking up. You know how I hate getting up in the morning.” A quick tickle to Emma’s side had the child giggling and forgetting about the earlier incident.
“Sit mommy, I made your sandwich ‘specially, I put lots of butter on the bread to make it really crispy and extra cheese to make it gooey.”
While Jane watched on with concern, Olivia sat at the table beside Emma and across from Jane and they all began eating. Emma happily told a story about her little friend Derek and what they had done at school the other day, while Olivia forced herself to eat. Tomato soup and a greasy grilled cheese sandwich on a queasy stomach may not be the best of choices but Emma was so proud of herself for being able to cook for her, she would just have to will it to stay down.
Natalia felt herself pulled awake, like someone was watching her. She opened her eyes and looked into the face of her confidante and priest, “Father Ray?”
With a smile he answered, “Hello Natalia. How are you feeling?”
“I’m okay.” Natalia moved a little more upright to help her wake up and so she could take a drink of the water in front of her though it hurt her to do so.
While she drank, the Priest told Natalia about his visit with Rafe. “We spoke for some time. He’s a good boy and he’s very worried about you.”
“Thank you for seeing Rafe, I really appreciate it. I was able to speak to him this morning. It’s hard not having him here so I can show him face to face that I’m okay.”
“I’m sure it is but when you’re feeling better you can go see Rafe yourself.”
The Priest took a breath and started to get to the heart of his visit. “You’ve had quite an ordeal. Is there anything that I can do for you, anything you need?”
Natalia sighed, knowing what she had to do. “Father I need to confess.”
With that Natalia began to tell the story from the other night. Not shying away from explaining every detail, she included things she hadn’t specifically told Frank; like the details about shooting Brian. Father Ray just listened, perhaps a little surprised by the lack of emotion in the young woman’s voice.
When it was over and Natalia had taken another large sip of water, Father Ray looked at her and spoke in a comforting voice.
“Natalia, I can’t imagine how you feel about killing a man. Yes it’s a terrible sin but given the circumstances…”
“No.” Natalia interrupted, “I did what I needed to do, it was the right thing. I don’t feel guilty for it or that I need to be forgiven.”
Father Ray was surprised. Natalia had just told him she had killed someone and yet she didn’t feel guilty or see it as wrong? “I don’t understand Natalia. I thought you wanted to confess?”
“I did. I do but not because I feel that I need to do penance for it. I would do it again if I had to. I just needed to tell someone the truth.”
“You haven’t told Olivia?”
“No I can’t talk to her about this. She’s exhausted, mentally and physically. I know she feels guilty; I can see it on her face. Plus she feels that she needs to take care of me every second, even though that means keeping her away from Emma, whom she’s also worried about. Physically, Lillian told me that she has a concussion from being thrown against the wall and I just can’t make her go home and take care of herself. The last thing she needs is to take on more guilt and I know that would happen if I tried to talk to her about the other night.”
Natalia paused for a breath before adding, “I just needed you to listen Father. I don’t need absolution for this.”
Father Ray had been watching Natalia through her explanation. He continued to worry but felt that in her own time, the reality of the situation would hit her and he vowed to be there to help her through it.
”Okay Natalia. We can leave it at that for now.”
There was a knock at the door and Lillian peeked in and noticed the priest. “Oh, I’m sorry Father Ray, am I interrupting?”
“Not at all.” Natalia responded for the Priest.
“Well as long as I’m not interrupting, I think we should get you walking.”
To be continued...