Title: Movie Night
Rating: PG-13 to start, for violence (non-sexual) and language. I am not any kind of a medical expert so if there are some glaring errors, please forgive me.
Disclaimer: I don’t own the Guiding Light characters, they belong to CBS and Proctor and Gamble.
Summary: This is set in the spring of 2009. I’ve taking some liberties with the storyline, mainly Natalia never slept with Frank, hence no engagement etc. So our girls have been just continuing forward raising Emma and getting closer to each other though they are still technically just friends, but that will change… This is a hurt/comfort story so they are headed on a rough ride.
Author’s Note: This is my first fan fiction so please be gentle. This would not have been possible if not for the persistent nudging and awesome editing of my beta/great friend croftlara. Comments are welcome.
( Part 1 ) ( Parts 2 & 3 ) ( Part 4 ) ( Parts 5 & 6 ) ( Part 7 ) ( Part 8 ) ( Part 9 ) ( Part 10 ) ( Part 11 ) ( Part 12 ) ( Part 13 ) ( Parts 14 & 15 ) ( Part 16 ) ( Part 17 ) ( Part 18 ) ( Part 19 ) ( Part 20 ) ( Part 21 ) ( Part 22 ) ( Part 23 ) ( Part 24 ) ( Part 25 ) ( Part 26 ) ( Part 27 ) ( Part 28 ) ( Part 29 ) ( Part 30 ) ( Part 31 )
Olivia walked through the halls of the hospital with a purpose, she thought it was to get to Natalia but when she found herself walking in a direction away from her room, she questioned where she was really going.
A few minutes later Olivia found herself standing outside of the hospital chapel. Crap. I’m going to go in aren’t I?
She passed through the open doors and instead of shying away from the crucifix at the front of the room, she marched right up to it and sat down in the first pew.
Leg bouncing uncontrollably she wondered why she was here when Natalia would be waiting for her.
Ah shit. She looked around and seeing no one decided that she could speak aloud. She tilted her head upward and shook her head. “What makes this room in the hospital any more special than the toilet down the hall? I could pray in there just the same and yet I come in here and, well okay I’ll admit, I guess I feel something here, like I can open up and something’s listening. I know, get to the point. You really helped me with Natalia, thank you, I think she’s going to be okay physically. I hope you’re watching over her spiritually, I don’t know what the hell to do about that but I’m concerned for her. I know she broke one of your precious commandments and all, I hope you’re not too pissed at her for it.
Olivia paused and looked around again, still finding no one. Why do I feel like someone’s watchin’ me.
“I screwed up. I scared the hell outta my kid, yelled at and even hit my friend, well okay it was Reva so my rival technically, but I don’t feel any better for that. Then I had Jeffrey call Natalia, Christ I don’t even know how late it was…” Taking a deep breath before continuing, “I’m afraid to face Natalia. I’m embarrassed, I’m ashamed that I couldn’t deal with that dream on my own, I had to drag everybody into it. God, it’s such a fucking mess.” She pressed her hand to her forehead to try and calm herself. “My head hurts, my heart hurts and I’m so Goddamned scared all of the time. I know I told you I wouldn’t ask you for anything more and if it means you take away some of the miracle you gave Natalia, then ignore me but I just feel like I need a bit of peace. I’ve been running a marathon for days, I know, before you say anything, it’s of my own making, I get that but it is what it is just the same. I just need peace for a few minutes and preferably not in the form of passing out.” A thought came unbidden to her head, “Damn, that wasn’t my peaceful moment was it? You didn’t give me that, did you? Because seriously, that actually kinda hurt.” What are you doing? Get to the point. “I guess what I needed to ask was this, stick around okay? I don’t always ask when I need help so maybe if you stay with me… maybe you can head my craziness off at the pass somehow before I scare or hurt anybody else. Please?” Eyes scanning the room as if expecting an answer Olivia finally gave up and admitted to herself she had stalled enough. It was time to face Natalia, embarrassment and all.
Olivia finally reached Natalia’s door. It was closed and she wondered if Natalia’s doctor was in with her or Lillian or another nurse. Olivia was beginning to recognize stalling when she saw it. For God’s sake just knock. She forced her fist to the door and rapped lightly. It didn’t take a moment for the occupant to announce, “Come in.”
Olivia tentatively walked into the room and found Natalia sitting in the chair with a blanket over her legs. The chair had been moved closer to the window so she could see outside.
“Hey. You’re up?” Olivia was genuinely surprised. Natalia’s cheeks had colour to them and she looked relatively healthy considering the ordeal her body had been through. Nothing gets you down for long, does it? I wish I had your resilience!
Natalia smiled, “Yep, Dr. Gunn was in this morning. He wanted me to get up a bit more so Lillian helped me into the chair. She’s going to have another chair brought in by the maintenance staff but for now you can sit on the bed if you like.” Natalia took a moment to really look at her friend; her eyes were tired and had dark circles under them and the bump on her head stood out against her skin. You didn’t sleep at all after you called, did you? What am I going to do with you?
“Thanks.” Olivia moved over to the bed and sat down as far away as she could from her friend without another word. She noticed the small bouquet of flowers on the windowsill and assumed it was Frank who brought them.
Why didn’t you hug me Olivia? You’re ashamed aren’t you? “How are you feeling?”
Olivia regarded her, “Just a little tired.”
Natalia watched her, “Really?” I can see it in your eyes, “What about your head?”
Olivia nodded, “It hurts but I’ve taken the Tylenol, I’ll be fine.”
Olivia looked out the window and Natalia found something interesting on the floor to stare at for a moment.
Finally, Natalia decided that the room was too small for the elephant that walked in with Olivia to stay around any longer than necessary. “Do you want to talk about last night?”
Here we go. Think she’d let it go if I just said no? Olivia let out a long breath and hung her head, defeated, “Do we have to?”
“I think we should,” Natalia didn’t wait for Olivia to object again. “Tell me what happened.”
Olivia got off the bed and started to pace while Natalia waited patiently. “You know what happened. I had a bad dream and part of it stuck with me.”
Natalia continued to wait.
Natalia I’m not going into detail so you can stop looking at me with those big brown eyes. “Stop looking at me like that, that’s all there is to it. Bad dream.”
“How did you end up at Jane’s?” Natalia finally quietly asked.
Olivia sighed, “I told you, it stuck with me and I needed to see Emma.”
Stop stalling Olivia just tell me. “Why? What happened in your dream Olivia?”
“I don’t remember.”
“The dream was bad enough to have you racing over to see Emma and bad enough that Jeffrey called me at two-thirty in the morning but you can’t remember it? Come on Olivia, I can’t help you if you don’t tell me.”
Everyone wants to know what I’m dreaming…well I just want to forget it! Rubbing her face with both hands as though she could hide from the question, Olivia tried to think of some answer that would satisfy Natalia. When she finally spoke she hoped what she said would be enough to satisfy her best friend. “I dreamed they hurt you and Emma. That they shot you and for some reason I couldn’t stop believing it.” It was mostly true, she just left out that both she and Rafe were killed and that Ava was there.
Natalia watched Olivia as she told her; she knew there was more to the story than just that. She wouldn’t have stalled so much of it was that simple. “I don’t believe you.”
Olivia pinned Natalia with her eyes. “What?”
“Maybe that was part of it but there’s more. What aren’t you telling me?”
Shit. Just let it go. Please. Olivia was trying to hold her temper when all she wanted to do was tell Natalia to leave it alone. “It was a dream Natalia and it scared me, what more do you want?”
Natalia’s voice began to rise, “I want the truth, I want to know what’s going on in your head!”
Because I love you. “Because maybe if you talk about it, you’ll feel better.” And I hate it when you’re in pain.
Don’t you get it? I’m embarrassed. Just let me deal with it on my own. “You sound like Rick.”
“Fine. Let me guess. You were powerless to stop what happened. You saw Emma and me in danger and couldn’t do anything about it.”
You think you know so much.
“And I was shot, maybe I died? Is that it? Is that what you’re keeping from me?” Natalia watched Olivia closely as she continued, “And then they went after Emma?”
Olivia’s head shot up, she paled as her breathing increased and her mouth instantly felt as dry as the desert, she looking longingly at Natalia’s water jug as she licked her lips and tried to swallow.
Natalia leaned forward when she noticed Olivia’s physical reaction. “Olivia come here.” Natalia held out her hands in the hopes that Olivia would grasp them. There was a moment of hesitation before Olivia was drawn to Natalia.
When Olivia’s hands were in hers, Natalia squeezed both to comfort and to hold her friend in place while she spoke with as much sincerity as she could muster, willing Olivia to believe, “What happened in the dream was not your fault any more than what happened to us on Friday night.”
She tried to pull away but the hands holding hers were firm and as much as Olivia couldn’t stand the scrutiny she was unwilling to potentially hurt Natalia but wrenching them away so she could run out of the room like she wanted to.
“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to, I know you well enough to know that it’s all about beating yourself up. I’d really like it if that would stop one of these days.”
Olivia tried to interrupt, “Natalia.”
“No. You didn’t want to talk, so don’t, just listen. You’re embarrassed about last night and upset that you scared Emma. Well she’s a tough kid, tell me that she’s not over it already?” When Olivia didn’t speak Natalia took that as an affirmative response and continued, “You can call me any time of day for anything so don’t be embarrassed about that. You had a nightmare, I’ve had them too.” It was an admission that she hadn’t intended but she wanted Olivia to know she wasn’t alone, “Only in my nightmares you’re the one who gets hurt and I stand by powerless.”
Olivia’s head sagged.
“We’re in this together, you and me. We have to help each other and I don’t just mean by standing over me all night.”
“Is that Frank’s job now?” The venom that seeped out with her question shocked both Natalia and Olivia.
Olivia held her breath and inwardly cringed, even if it were Frank’s job now, she felt she had no business being upset by it and yet she was terribly jealous.
“What’s that supposed to mean Olivia?” Natalia questioned as she let go of Olivia’s hands.
“Am I wrong? I just thought I remembered something about Jeffrey saying Frank’s name last night when he called you.”
“Well it’s not his job but he was here with me last night yes.” Natalia realized if she wanted to hurt Olivia she could leave it at that but she never wanted to hurt Olivia. Might as well be completely honest.
“The truth is that he stopped by after you left and didn’t seem to want to leave. I fell asleep at some point and I was quite surprised myself that he was still here when Jeffrey called. Frank said something about dozing off after I did. He stayed until this morning.”
It stung Olivia to hear that someone else had been able to comfort Natalia and watch over her. Yet another failure to add to my growing list.
When Olivia said nothing, Natalia could feel the waves of self-reproach coming off of her green-eyed friend.
I can’t change that he was here, I didn’t want him to be, you’re just going to have to get over it. Changing the subject Natalia then asked if Olivia would help her to the bathroom. “They want me to start getting up to do that but I still need help walking and I really can’t wait for Lillian.”
Olivia nodded and came over to Natalia to help her up. Clutching Olivia’s strong arm she shuffled to the bathroom with the IV pole in tow.
It was a little awkward for both women but a necessary deed and something Olivia realized that they would both have to become somewhat comfortable with if she was going to be taking care of Natalia. Admitting to herself that she had once been in a very similar position and this was the person who had seen to her needs, the least Olivia could do was to return the favour.
Having grown tired from all the exertion, as they came out of the bathroom Natalia requested that she be deposited back in the bed. Reaching the edge of the bed, Olivia pulled back the sheets to make it easier for her friend when Natalia hesitated.
“What’s wrong? Are you in pain or is there some way I need to help you get in?” Olivia questioned when her friend stopped.
In response Natalia leaned forward and wrapped her arms around Olivia and held her as tight as she could without too much pain, “I just wanted to give you a proper hug. I’ve been needing this so much.” Natalia whispered close to Olivia’s ear while they continued to embrace. Olivia wasn’t able to hold the tears back as she tentatively pulled her friend in tighter. “I’ve needed this too,” she admitted. Oh God Natalia, in your arms is the only place I feel safe right now. Don’t ever let me go.
Long minutes passed until they reluctantly let go. Each smiled at the woman across from her until Olivia asked if she could help Natalia into bed.
They worked together to maneuver Natalia onto the mattress as carefully as they could then Olivia pulled up the sheets and tucked her friend in, complete with a kiss on the forehead.
“Do you want to try to sleep? I heard some crazy lady called you at two in the morning, you must be exhausted.” The comment was said with a smile so Natalia played along.
“Yes that selfish woman, so desperate to hear my sleepy voice she just couldn’t control herself.”
“What a sappy bitch,” Olivia added.
With a flash of dimples Natalia chuckled lightly, though her eyes were growing heavy she added, “Naw, s’okay I hadn’t realized how much I wanted to hear her sleepy voice too.”
“Is that right?”
“Yes.” Natalia grew quiet then questioned, “Did you get any sleep last night after you called?”
Noticing that Natalia was just about to nod off, Olivia put her hand on her friend’s head, “Don’t worry about me.”
“But I do…”
Unable to keep her eyes open any longer, Natalia drifted to sleep while Olivia stood by the bed and held her friend’s hand, “And I worry about you too.” It’s my job to keep watch and protect you. I promise I won’t let you down.
To Be Continued...