Fandom - Guiding Light
Paring - Olivia/Natalia
Warnings and/or Spoilers - No spoilers. This is an AU (Alternative Universe) story, so some stuff will be very different than what is on the show. Reference to drugs. Cursing. Angst. And a certain horrible act is now in the forefront, so be aware.
Summary - Olivia Spencer is falling apart and takes an undercover case in order to ignore her pain. But along with drugs and crooked cops and an unexpected ally, she finds a reason to finally heal and live again. Multi-chapter thing.
Rating - PG currently, hard-R in later chapters
Notes - Man, do I think this chapter sucks...lol. But whatever. Any forward progress is good, right? ;)
Story as follows:
http://community.livejournal.com/passion_perfect/1674706.html 1-12 of Redemption
Frank Cooper deals in facts, the cold kind and the hard kind – that is the cornerstone of what they teach you, all those old cops and all those gruff detectives… they teach you to deal in reality, not fiction.
And you can’t make a move based on hunches, on hearsay or on guesses.
If I can’t see it, I can’t go after it.
And this case has been a thorn in his side for a while now, twisting in deeper every time he got close and then lost the scent. He has read files so many times and he has arrested so many flunkies, always trying to find the slip up – that place where someone forgot to cover their tracks.
And that would be his way in.
And it never happened. Not once.
But here is Olivia Spencer, bashing heads and stalking around and taking charge of what should be a two-person investigation.
Here is Olivia Spencer, some cop from some other city, telling Frank Cooper that Springfield’s ADA is involved in a serious drug operation.
And every time Frank asks for proof, Olivia Spencer just seethes and demands and then disappears.
Not only that, but she seems wound tighter than before. I told Mallet that something has changed… but damned if I know what. I can’t just ask her, she’ll just bite my head off… like usual.
And Frank deals in facts, the words on the page and the blood on the hands.
Not some hot-headed officer’s belief in another person's guilt.
And Frank deals in reality, the names he knows and the crimes that those names have committed.
Not ADA’s who have worked on high-profile cases. Not men who seem as clean as the proverbial whistle.
But it is Olivia Spencer… annoying and self-serving and absolutely reckless Olivia Spencer… it is Olivia’s taut image in Frank Cooper’s head when Jeffrey O’Neill walks into the station.
And Frank watches the man, watches the way Jeffrey smiles – and it seems real, it seems genuine.
You can see why he got the nomination, even though he is not even from Springfield, to be the ADA – and you can see why he won the post and holds it still.
Because Jeffrey O’Neill looks like a good guy, a winner.
But Frank also takes in Jeffrey’s eyes and that is another story – you can see why he is feared in the courtroom, why you don’t want to be up against the man… unless you like losing.
Because Jeffrey O’Neill’s eyes are like that of a shark, glassy and focused and deadly.
And it could be comical, like every lawyer joke ever told in any late-night bar.
But it isn’t, not in the slightest.
Jeffrey O’Neill, with a smile and a briefcase and a nice suit, stops at Frank’s desk and the detective feels it – and it is not a good feeling, it is not a welcomed sensation.
All the old cops and all the gruff detectives teach you about it, that tingling in your gut that alerts you to someone you don’t want to find right around the corner on some dark night – the killer, the mugger, those things that go bump in the night…
“Detective Cooper, good morning. Lovely day, isn’t it?”
“Yea, not too bad. How can I help you, O’Neill? Something on the roster?”
“Oh, nothing to do with the D.A. Just some pro-bono work.”
“Really? I wouldn’t think you’d have the time these days. Are we not keeping you busy enough?”
“I don’t like to think that I am so far up the ladder that I forget what being a lawyer is really about, Detective.”
And Jeffrey is still smiling, just a little bit, and Frank keeps hearing Olivia in his head and doesn’t know how to shut the woman up… you’d think in my own head I could, but no, she is just as stubborn here as in real life…
“Who are you here for?”
And Frank deals in facts, the cold kind and the hard kind.
He doesn’t deal in theories and he doesn’t deal in maybes.
“Mr. Juan Medina.” Jeffrey calmly answers.
And Frank Cooper can only see Olivia Spencer and her smirking face within his mind’s gaze.
And his stomach drops to the floor, not from misjudging the situation… not even from Olivia being correct… but because this case has taken a decidedly bad turn.
And instead of it wrapping up, it is just beginning. Damn it all to hell.
“Have you seen my mother?”
“No. Have you seen Olivia?”
“No. Seriously Frank, I don’t know where my mother is and I am freaking out—“
“Listen, Rafe, I am sure she is fine.”
“You don’t know that! And you can’t find Olivia—“
“They might be, uh… together. Or something.”
Frank mumbles the last part and Rafe suddenly freezes.
Because that had not crossed his mind, not with his fear and jumpiness - working for Maldonado will do that to a guy - getting the better of him. And he just pictured his mother being caught in the cross-fire of this madness, of her getting hurt due to him and his mistakes.
And so he had been pacing, calling The Beacon, checking downstairs… and getting some odd looks from Buzz… then back upstairs and pacing some more.
Rafe had stayed with his mother all yesterday morning, watched her sigh and watched her wipe away tears and he ached to know what was going on, for the words to come out so he could help somehow.
And so he waited for her to come back home. And waited. And waited
By the time Frank calls, the boy is ready to get every squad car out there and get a search party going.
God, I am as bad as Ma is with me!
But Frank’s comment settles something in Rafe’s chest and the boy finally takes a deep breath.
Because is very possible that his mother is with Olivia Spencer.
Could be really possible.
And he had wondered if all that sadness was caused by the cop and he had wondered if his mother was getting too involved with Olivia – not out of judgment, not out of some old words from followers of God… but because I’ve seen Olivia, seen her hard and with her gun… I’ve seen the things that Olivia deals with, deals in and it isn’t nice. I wonder just how much my mother knows about this woman and this world…
Because he knows that Olivia can protect his mother from Maldonado.
But can she protect my mother from herself? Can Olivia do better than me, ‘coz I fucked up and hurt her anyway… and I don’t know if Ma can take another blow like that…
“Rafe, listen to me, things are heating up and I can’t go into detail—“
“Don’t say shit like that, Frank, okay? I am jittery enough as it is.”
“You’ll be fine. I promise. I won’t let anything happen to you.”
“Tell me what is going on and I won’t let anything happen to me.”
“Yea, yea… I don’t like this bullshit, but yea, I get it.”
“You out there tonight?”
“Maldonado is expecting me at the club. Wants me to kick Weston up and get more blow out there.”
“Okay. Just do it and get back quick.”
“If you see Olivia, have her call me. It is urgent. And Rafe?”
“Easy for you to say, man…”
And they hang up simultaneously. And Rafe toys with the idea of walking across the hall, of knocking on Olivia’s door and…
Nope. Don’t think I am ready to see my mother like that. Not at all.
But being Natalia Rivera’s child brings about certain personality traits – and one of them is a protective streak a mile wide.
And if his mother isn’t home soon, well, then Rafe will have to go across the way and bang on the cop’s door.
It is such a parental move that the boy finds it amusing and he shakes his head as he continues to pace the floor of their little kitchen.
You have rubbed off on me all too well, Ma…
Olivia wakes up and every bone in her body seems to ache, the joints popping and any movement of limbs feels like lifting a ton of lead. It is like the worst bender in the entire universe.
And there is not even the pleasure of a night before to blame. Great. Must have all been real then.
Not that she regrets it, not truly – because all night long, during familiar nightmares and in unfamiliar surroundings, Olivia was held.
Whether fully… soft and delicate skin, arms secure about my waist… or whether as good as could be… a hand in my hair, fingertips on my hip… Olivia Spencer was held, completely captured by Natalia Rivera all night long.
The woman didn’t leave, didn’t run off, didn’t get spooked and back away slowly.
Even after Olivia divulged so many secrets and exposed the shadowed spaces, even after laying herself bare… Natalia didn’t leave.
Who the hell are you, Natalia Rivera?
Because after all these years, Olivia had given up on that silly notion called love.
She didn’t believe in it – not for her, not in this life.
Whatever she had left of something good and something right, it was for Emma and no one else.
And even that hasn’t been much… I mean, look at me, wearing lie after lie – on the job and off – while Phillip has Emma and I am… I am…
But she can’t say it now and it is an alien concept.
Olivia isn’t alone anymore.
Natalia Rivera is here, in her bed and in her existence and Olivia just doesn’t know what to think.
Or what to do about any of it.
No point in thinking about how I feel, ‘coz that is as clear as a fucking cloud. I feel… good and worried and angry and like a wasted mess.
But, despite the internal conflict of emotions, Olivia Spencer must admit… silently at first, not a word slipping out of her lips… that she is not alone.
And if she wants to believe it, to really believe what Natalia swore the night before… if it is true, if she was telling the truth…
Olivia isn’t sure how to handle it and a part of her wants to do the regular thing – get dressed and go.
And so she sits tight, pulling her knees up and tilting her head to the side and ignoring her phone and she watches Natalia sleep.
It has been a long time since she has been in a bed with someone and there wasn’t sex happening.
It’s been so long that Olivia cannot even recall when that last time was and that is a sad thought – it always has been – but more so now.
Now, with all the crying so close and all the horrors just down the road, it is too hard to pretend that things don’t hurt, that wounds are healed.
And you, Natalia, are just chipping away at this wall of mine, aren’t you? I wonder if you know, really fucking know, just what you are getting in to with me? I wonder if it’ll be worth it to you… once you realize that it won’t be easy? Once you realize just how deep the brokenness goes…
And she watches Natalia shift, watches the woman blink slowly and watches those eyes open and Olivia wants to believe – just this once, God, don’t screw me over…
“How long have you been awake?”
“Just a little while.”
And she watches Natalia rise up, black hair tumbling down.
And Olivia’s heart beats painfully behind her timid ribcage, threatening to crack and spill out.
And she watches Natalia lean forward, feels those lips press against her own and hears a whispered ‘good morning’.
And Olivia feels faint, feels like sobbing, feels like the world has stopped spinning.
Just this once, God… ‘coz you and I don’t always get along, I know this and so do you… but I want this, I want her and I want to be happy and I don’t want to always be on the run… I don’t want to always be shattered… so… how about this time you don’t jerk me around? Okay? How’s that sound?
And normally she would laugh or smirk or say something clever. Or she would be aloof, she would stay quiet and she would fade away with the dawn.
But if she wants reality, then she needs to start being real.
If I want this chance, then I need to really take it.
“I love you, too, Natalia. God knows how it happened, but I do… I do…”
And she watches Natalia smile and it is the best thing Olivia has seen in a long time.
And they’ve not said it all, they’ve not learned everything yet… the hard times are still looming, they still have miles to go before they can truly sleep…
But I believe in her. And that’s a start.
Natalia watches Olivia get dressed, memorizes the flashes of flesh and the shy tint in those green eyes and repeats the words inside her head – ‘I love you, too, Natalia…’ – and she feels like she could float away.
Despite all the heaviness of last night and despite the rage she still feels at the one who could hurt someone the way Jeffrey O’Neill hurt Olivia… Natalia looks at the woman before her and everything makes sense.
And it is light, it is airy, it is perfection.
Natalia knows she wasn’t searching for anyone, keeping to her son and to her work and to her home.
And she figured her time had passed for such things, love merely a childhood dream and a crushing reality and nothing more.
This isn’t a dream, though. This is actually happening. We are actually happening.
And she watches Olivia move close again, the woman sitting down and tentatively reaching out and taking Natalia’s hand – eyes averted, but not from disappearing… I’ve never seen anyone as open as you are now, Olivia, and you don’t know how much you honor me…
“My phone has been going crazy all morning, so I better return some calls. But I’ll be back. Maybe… we can have some coffee or something?”
“I’d like that.”
And those eyes are on her and Natalia could get lost in them.
But she slides her hand up Olivia’s arm instead and goes upward to the woman’s cheek, cupping it and bringing them closer.
And they kiss again, not an out-of-control kind of kiss and not that long of a kiss either, but it is desperate and probing and all the air is sucked from Natalia’s body… leaving her shaking when Olivia pulls gently away.
“Coffee gets you going, I see…”
And Natalia watches Olivia’s lips twitch, a small grin lurking, and it sends hot blood all around Natalia’s body – a fire that won’t be cooled, a solar flare in her very soul…
“Something like that…” Natalia murmurs and they share a look, one that says it all – at least to those that need to know it.
Yes, something like that… something like you, Olivia Spencer…
And Natalia watches Olivia leave the room, not at all like the last time… no more hiding and no more lying and no more pretending… and she begins to believe in second chances, begins to believe that all she didn’t dare dream to have is within in reach.
Natalia Rivera watches the shut door in this boarding house, hears the world waking up downstairs and takes a deep breath – and she believes.
Oh God, I believe she and I can have it all… and that’s a start, right?