Title: Movie Night
Rating: PG-13 to start, for violence (non-sexual) and language. I am not any kind of a medical expert so if there are some glaring errors, please forgive me.
Disclaimer: I don’t own the Guiding Light characters, they belong to CBS and Proctor and Gamble.
Summary: This is set in the spring of 2009. I’ve taking some liberties with the storyline, mainly Natalia never slept with Frank, hence no engagement etc. So our girls have been just continuing forward raising Emma and getting closer to each other though they are still technically just friends, but that will change… This is a hurt/comfort story so they are headed on a rough ride.
Author’s Note: This is my first fan fiction so please be gentle. This would not have been possible if not for the persistent nudging and awesome editing of my beta/great friend croftlara. Comments are welcome.
( Part 1 ) ( Parts 2 & 3 ) ( Part 4 ) ( Parts 5 & 6 ) ( Part 7 ) ( Part 8 ) ( Part 9 ) ( Part 10 ) ( Part 11 ) ( Part 12 ) ( Part 13 ) ( Parts 14 & 15 ) ( Part 16 ) ( Part 17 ) ( Part 18 ) ( Part 19 ) ( Part 20 ) ( Part 21 ) ( Part 22 ) ( Part 23 ) ( Part 24 ) ( Part 25 ) ( Part 26 ) ( Part 27 ) ( Part 28 ) ( Part 29 ) ( Part 30 ) ( Part 31 ) ( Part 32 ) ( Part 33 ) ( Chapter 34 ) ( Part 35 ) ( Part 36 ) ( Part 37 ) ( Part 38 ) ( Part 39 ) ( Part 40 ) ( Part 41 ) ( Part 42 ) ( Part 43 ) ( Part 44 ) ( Part 45 ) ( Part 46 )
Having finally taken some positive action with regard to her daughter, the day’s events started to catch up with Olivia. She was exhausted and aggravated over how she felt about Natalia’s actions not to mention her rising concerns about being a good mother. I can’t face going through it all again right now. Olivia therefore tried to stall after placing their meal order by insisting on using the bathroom and suggesting that Natalia put on her pajamas and get into bed so she could go right to sleep after they ate.
Natalia sat up in bed with her back against the headboard curiously watching as Olivia moved about the room finding things to do.
“Olivia I would wager a guess that you’re exhausted.”
“Wager, eh? Here comes the poker Queen talk.” Olivia tried to lighten the mood on the outside while on the inside she was trying to shove down the questions and frustration she still felt.
Natalia laughed. “It’s not my fault that Buzz didn’t ask if I knew how to play first.”
“But you didn’t tell him either.”
“The game is about deception, and surprisingly, I’m very good at it.”
Yes you are very good at deception; I never would have expected that of you Natalia. Olivia brushed her hand across her head in frustration. Stop it. Just stop thinking like this… What the hell is wrong with me?
Natalia wiggled her eyebrows at Olivia and continued, “And so are you. Now why don’t you go take a couple of Tylenol because you look like you’ve still got your headache, which is something you probably should have done when you first got home, then maybe we can sit quietly for a bit and talk a little while we wait for dinner?”
“Uh huh...sure, um...I'll be with you in just a few minutes, just a couple more things to do," Olivia moved over to the nightstand and poured out two extra-strength Tylenol pills, slipped into the bathroom to get water from the sink and swallowed them. Without a word she returned to the main room and began to fold the clothes Natalia had discarded and carefully put them in a drawer, she organized the medication on the bedside table and generally went around the room ‘straightening up’ though there was nothing out of place. I don’t want to get into this Natalia. If we do, I’m not even sure what I’ll say, what if I let something slip?
Natalia watched Olivia moving about the room with growing impatience. What are you doing Olivia? I swear to God if you try to make the bed while I’m in it, I’m going to freak.
Olivia stopped and looked around the room desperately searching for something else to delay the inevitable. There has to be something else I can do, anything to avoid having to have this conversation… ah hah, the laptop. “I just remembered I have a few emails I need to send…”
“Enough!” Olivia looked up sharply. “Just tell me.” Natalia pleaded. “Enough with the stalling! Please…just tell me where you went and what’s going on?”
Olivia sighed and dropped down on the edge of the bed, rubbing her forehead before pinching the bridge of her nose in an effort to focus her thoughts. Can I trust myself to explain it? Trust Natalia?
Natalia watched as Olivia massaged her brow. What are you afraid of? What did you do? When Olivia began to smooth out the sheets on the bed Natalia could see it coming. Don’t you do it… she internally warned.
Olivia stood up and still lost in her own thoughts, pulled the sheet tight around Natalia.
Natalia lifted her eyes to the heavens, God forgive me. She could admit that it may not have been the best decision as it hurt like the dickens but Natalia grabbed the pillow next to her and swung with all her might, which admittedly she was a little light on at the moment. She connected with the bruised side of Olivia’s head. Oops. Natalia cringed as she realized where she had hit her.
Olivia’s hand flew up to cover the pained area, wincing Olivia shrieked, “What the hell Natalia?”
“Oh gosh, I’m so sorry.” Natalia leaned forward to put her hand on Olivia’s shoulder, her own face a mask of pain as her impulsiveness had caused her injury to pull, “Ow.”
Olivia was drawn away from her own pain as she noticed Natalia suffering. “Just lay back would ya?” Olivia helped Natalia lean back against the headboard. “Are you okay?” Olivia reached for Natalia’s pajama’s intending to check her injury for further damage.
Natalia lightly slapped her hand away from her top, “Hey! I’m fine.” Mostly.
After having been slapped by Natalia, Olivia sat back and probed the bruise on the side of her head again.
Are you okay? Natalia reached up toward Olivia’s head, “I didn’t hurt you did I?” Putting two fingers in front of Olivia’s eyes she asked, “How many fingers am I holding up?”
Olivia responded with one of hers and a raised eyebrow and asked, “I don’t know, how many fingers am I holding up?”
Natalia squinted her eyes as Olivia continued to hold up her middle finger. “Seriously though are you okay? I didn’t rattle your brain any more, did I?” She smiled, “Because you don’t need any more help in that area.”
Olivia couldn’t help but chuckle, “I’m okay, it shocked me mostly. A stiff wind could hit me harder than you could right now anyway.” She smiled as Natalia’s mouth dropped open at the insult so for fun Olivia continued, “Oh come on honey, you’re as weak as a kitten right now.”
“Ya know Olivia, if I didn’t know any better I’d think you’re trying to stall…again!” Natalia pushed out a frustrated breath. “Why don’t you want to tell me where you were?”
You’re not my mother Natalia, it was none of her business where I went and it’s none of yours. Shocked at the sudden direction her thoughts were taking Olivia shot up and walked over to pour herself a double shot of vodka then paced around the room sipping her liquid confidence while Natalia waited patiently. My mother? Where the hell did that come from?
Mentally shaking her head to clear her thoughts Olivia looked thoughtfully into her glass. I can’t… I can’t go back there. “I just feel like I’m all talked out.”
All talked out? Why? Who have you been talking to? “I’m worried about you.”
Ignoring the comment, Olivia looked up from her glass to glance at Natalia and in an effort to evade the dark direction her talk earlier seemed to have stirred up, she fought back the questions popping up in her own mind by asking, “Why weren’t you honest with me earlier?”
“What? What are you talking about?”
Olivia’s frustration began to build as she loomed over Natalia. Don’t pretend you don’t know. “You didn’t tell me that I hurt you in my sleep. Why?”
“I…Well…Umm…” Natalia stammered trying to think of what to say.
“You expect me to be honest with you Natalia but don’t give me the same courtesy.” Give me a little bit of credit Natalia. I can deal with it if you just tell me; I’m not as fragile as you think. After a moment of Natalia’s silence Olivia backed away and continued, “You didn’t tell me something that I needed to know…that I have to know. How am I supposed to take care of you if you won’t tell me when you’re hurt?”
Where did this come from? Natalia hung her head as Olivia put more distance between them. She’s really upset about this… and she’s right. “I know, I should have said something but I knew you’d get upset and feel like it was your fault.” And you might not let me try to comfort you anymore.
Olivia rounded and advanced on Natalia, “It was my fault! But you know what? Mistakes happen…terrible mistakes…” Olivia paused, “you don’t have to protect me Natalia, I’m a big girl.” I’ve been a big girl for a long time, too long… You can’t protect me, God knows people have tried.
Natalia scoffed, “Oh yes, you’re such a big girl, you haven’t slept more than a few hours a night since this happened, you carry far too much unnecessary guilt for one person to handle, you have a concussion you refuse to take care of and any time any one tries to help you they get brushed aside. Yeah you’re such a big girl Olivia. How do you expect to take care of me or God…Emma if you can’t figure out how to take care of yourself?” Oh God…I didn’t mean that, did I?
“Who the hell do you think you are?” You have no idea what I’m dealing with here.
“I’m your best friend Olivia and I love you and I’m worried sick that you’re not taking care of yourself. And yes, okay, I screwed up by not telling you that I was hurt but you never let me in, you won’t talk about how you’re feeling, I know very little about your dream and now you’re stalling and won’t even tell me where you were today?”
Olivia spat, “I was with Reva!”
“Reva? Why were you with her?”
Why is this so hard? Maybe another drink will make it easier. Olivia swallowed the last of the glass of vodka and returned to the bar to pour another. “You wanna know why I was with her? Fine…I went to talk to her about everything.”
Natalia waited for more.
Sighing Olivia continued, “I’m not stupid Natalia, I know I have a problem and I need to figure it out. This fucking nightmare haunts me no matter where I am and I have no idea how to deal with it because it hurts… too damn much…” Olivia lifted the glass and took a large swallow of her drink, “I’m just trying to make sense of it all.”
“Why couldn’t you talk to me?” Natalia queried feeling uncharacteristically jealous.
Olivia let out a humourless laugh, “Because you and me, we don’t talk. “
Natalia reacted as though she had been slapped. “That’s not true Olivia.”
“The hell it’s not! You don’t talk to me, oh sure you expect me to bare my soul to you but I get nothing in return!” Why am I the one who always has to give in? Olivia spun on her heel and walked away from Natalia and mumbled, “Such a hypocrite…”
“Excuse me? What is it you want?! Huh? Do you want me to curl up into a ball and cry ‘woe is me’? “
Olivia slammed her glass down on the bar and ground out, “I want honesty Natalia! I want the fucking truth from the good little catholic schoolgirl. Why is that so Goddamn hard for you?” Furious, Olivia poured more vodka, spilling some on the bar, before drinking the glass in one shot. “You can’t tell me you don’t feel anything about what happened?” It’s your turn Natalia how do you like that?
Natalia had been watching Olivia get more angry and drunk before her eyes without having a clue as to what to say. How did this get so far out of control? Where did all of this come from? “Olivia, you need to calm down.”
“I don’t want to calm down! Why aren’t you getting angry?”
Natalia, in an effort to soothe the situation slid from the bed and shuffled over to the bar intending to remove the bottle of vodka just as Olivia went to pick it up again. Both women suddenly found themselves in the awkward position of each holding the bottle in an impromptu tug of war. “Olivia why don’t you let me have the bottle and we’ll sit down and talk?”
Olivia burst out laughing, before she slurred, “Oh sure now you wanna talk. I don’t think so.” I just booked my kid in for a therapy session to get her to talk… you have to talk… I have to talk… everybody has to talk… maybe I just want to stop talking and forget for five damn minutes. She yanked the bottle out of the injured woman’s grasp, which left Natalia unstable on her feet, her quick reaction to grab the edge of the bar the only thing saving her from falling to the floor. Natalia cried out in pain as her incision pulled while she righted herself.
Oh Jesus. “Natalia?” Olivia’s glass dropped to the carpeted floor with a thud and she stumbled toward her realizing her actions had hurt her friend.
“No! Don’t touch me Olivia!” Oh my God… It hurts. Natalia slid to the floor with her back against the cabinet under the bar as she tried to breathe through the fiery pain radiating throughout her upper body. Natalia could see the look of panic cross Olivia’s face.
Olivia backed up, hands held up in front of her. “I’m sorry, God…I didn’t mean…I’m so sorry Natalia…” The backs of her knees hit the bed and she fell onto the edge. “What the hell am I doing?” She dropped her head into her hands. I’m toxic… I’m toxic… everybody… always the same, I hurt everybody I love.
Natalia needed her medication, the pain was blinding but she was afraid to move. Seeing nothing but the narrow vision of her pain Natalia called out in desperation. “Olivia.” When her friend didn’t respond she spoke up more forcefully, “Olivia! I need help. Please.”
Slowly a drunk Olivia looked up and focused her eyes on the wounded woman clutching her chest. “Natalia?”
“Pain meds… I need them.” When Olivia didn’t immediately respond Natalia continued, “Olivia! My pills.” Olivia’s confused look at the bottles of medication drove Natalia to add, “Now!”
Slowly Olivia got up and fumbled for the pill bottles on the nightstand. Unable to see which were the pain meds she grabbed all of the containers and brought them to Natalia, dropping them on the floor next to her before quickly stumbling to the fridge to get her some water. Natalia found the right bottle but couldn’t open it. “I need you to open this for me.”
Olivia fell to her knees in front of Natalia and fought with the bottle until she gave up and desperately grabbed the cap with her teeth to pull it open spilling several of the little white pills onto the floor. Natalia took two pills out of the bottle and swallowed them, washing them down with the water Olivia had handed to her. Leaning her head back against the cabinet under the bar she closed her eyes to wait for the medication to start working.
Olivia was afraid to talk, afraid to move but even through her drunken state she knew there was something she should be doing. Focus damn it, she needs you… Oh God, stitches! “Natalia, don’t hate me, I gotta make sure your stitches didn’t tear.” Unsure of Natalia’s current feelings toward her after what happened, Olivia asked, “Can I touch you?”
A slight nod of Natalia’s head indicated that it was okay so Olivia carefully opened her friends’ pajama top and checked her chest for damage. “I don’t see any blood.” Olivia pulled back one of the bandages, the incision site was red but the stitches were intact. Replacing the bandage she risked a glance toward Natalia’s face, “Everything looks good.” When Natalia didn’t respond, Olivia’s shaky fingers fumbled trying to re-button the pajamas until she felt soft hands cover hers and complete the job.
Neither woman spoke for several minutes, Natalia wanted to let the medication kick in while Olivia remained kneeling in front of her waiting for Natalia to either scream at her or hug her, she wasn’t sure which.
“Help me up.” Natalia asked before adding, “If you think you can.”
I deserved that. Olivia took it as the slight it was meant to be and rising on wobbly legs, bent to help Natalia up. The two shuffled to the bed where Olivia set Natalia down on its edge. “Can I get you anything?”
“No, a full dose of these meds are going to knock me out, I think I just need to lay quietly until I fall asleep.”
Olivia leaned forward as if to help her settle in bed.
“I’ve got it Olivia. Why don’t you call and cancel my meal order, I don’t think I can eat right now.”
Stung Olivia moved off the bed, “I’m so sorry Natalia. You know the last thing in the world I would want is to hurt you. I didn’t mean to hurt you, I swear.”
“I know. “ Natalia admitted, “But I can’t do this right now.” Natalia slid up to her pillow and lay down on her back closing her eyes, a few seconds later she felt a blanket pulled up over her. Moments after that she heard the muffled sounds of Olivia on the phone before feeling a dip in the bed next to her and as a tear meandered its way down Natalia’s cheek and fell on her pillow she heard a whispered, “I’m sorry Natalia…I’m just gonna lay next to you, if that’s okay? I love you...”
Olivia turned on her side so she could watch Natalia but was careful not to touch her. As her own eyes grew heavy she could see a lone tear roll down and settle on Natalia’s pillow. I’m so sorry Natalia, I never meant to hurt you. The alcohol took over and pulled her toward sleep. I should have locked the damn door.
To be continued...