Rating: PG-13 to start, for violence (non-sexual).
Disclaimer: I don’t own the Guiding Light characters, they belong to CBS and Proctor and Gamble.
Summary: This is set in the spring of 2009. I’ve taking some liberties with the storyline, mainly Natalia never slept with Frank, hence no engagement etc. So our girls have been just continuing forward raising Emma and getting closer to each other though they are still technically just friends, but that may change… This is a hurt/comfort story so they are headed on a rough ride.
Author’s Note: This is my first fan fiction so please be gentle. This would not have been possible if not for the persistent nudging and awesome editing of my beta/great friend laracroft. Comments are welcome.
( Part 1 ) ( Parts 2 & 3 ) ( Part 4 ) ( Parts 5 & 6 ) ( Part 7 ) ( Part 8 ) ( Part 9 ) ( Part 10 ) ( Part 11 ) ( Part 12 ) ( Part 13 ) ( Parts 14 & 15 ) ( Part 16 ) ( Part 17 ) ( Part 18 ) ( Part 19 ) ( Part 20 ) ( Part 21 ) ( Part 22 ) ( Part 23 ) ( Part 24 ) ( Part 25 ) ( Part 26 ) ( Part 27 ) ( Part 28 ) ( Part 29 ) ( Part 30 ) ( Part 31 ) ( Part 32 ) ( Part 33 ) ( Chapter 34 ) ( Part 35 ) ( Part 36 ) ( Part 37 ) ( Part 38 ) ( Part 39 ) ( Part 40 ) ( Part 41 ) ( Part 42 ) ( Part 43 ) ( Part 44 ) ( Part 45 ) ( Part 46 ) ( Part 47 )
Natalia stirred at the sound of ringing in the distance. The noise seemed to grow closer and when she opened her eyes she realized it was actually Olivia’s Blackberry. “Olivia? Get your phone.” When the body next to her didn’t move, Natalia sat up painfully and found her friend seemingly sleeping soundly curled up in the bed. It could be Emma. With that concern she made her way as quickly as possible off the bed and around it to the Blackberry sitting on the nightstand amongst the bottles of medications. The call had gone to voicemail but caller Id showed Phillip’s number so she dialed him back.
”Olivia?” Phillip answered the call quickly.
“Hello Phillip, actually it’s Natalia, Olivia is indisposed at the moment,” More like passed out, “but I saw that it was your number and wanted to make sure everything is okay.”
“I’m sorry, I know I’m a little late calling but Emma and I went to a movie and it turned out that it was longer than expected.”
“No that’s okay.” Natalia squinted as she glanced at the clock as she had no idea what time it was or how long they had been asleep. “I’m sure Olivia will be glad that you called. Is Emma there, can I speak with her?”
A moment later Emma voice appeared on the phone, “Mommy?”
“No honey, it’s Natalia, mommy’s asleep.”
Emma’s excited surprise could be heard through the phone, “You mean I’m up later than mommy?”
“Yes you are.” Natalia smiled at the infectious giggle Emma shared with her. “Why don’t you tell me about the movie you went to see? Are you having fun?”
Emma explained all about the movie and to Natalia’s horror how they had gone to McDonald’s for dinner as a ‘special treat’. Natalia silently vowed to cook her a proper ‘special treat’ as soon as she had access to a kitchen again. After several minutes Natalia promised Emma that she would give her mommy a hug for her then smiled as the child blew her a kiss over the phone and said goodbye for the night. Natalia set the phone down grateful to have spoken to Emma. It’s a good thing you called while Olivia was asleep Phillip, it’s after nine and you were expected to call hours ago. With the way she’s feeling right now I don’t know how she would have reacted.
Natalia sat down on the edge of the bed beside Olivia and reached out to caress the soft brown hair she always loved to touch. Thinking back to what happened earlier in the evening she asked her sleeping friend in a whisper, “What’s happening to us? It’s not supposed to be this way. I thought things had been going so well but I couldn’t even recognize the person you became tonight. You’re angry, so angry. I know I’m not telling you as much as I should. I didn’t realize just how angry that seems to be making you. I hope you understand that I don’t go out of my way to lie to you Olivia.” Natalia watched Olivia’s face and thought back to how she had nearly begged for truth from her.
“I want honesty Natalia! I want the fucking truth from the good little catholic schoolgirl. Why is that so Goddamn hard for you?”
Natalia lovingly pulled a strand of Olivia’s hair through her fingers. “I just do what I have to do and sometimes, okay… I can’t be one-hundred percent honest. I don’t like it but I’m sorry Olivia, I just can’t go into every detail, not yet, maybe not ever...” Natalia tried to reason her silence though Olivia seemed desperate for answers.
“The hell it’s not! You don’t talk to me, oh sure you expect me to bare my soul to you but I get nothing in return!”
“That’s true. I do need you to tell me what’s wrong because I worry about you. Like right now, I can see that you’re dreaming, your mouth is twitching and your head is jerking slightly from side to side and I’m afraid… I’m afraid it could get bad again and you’ll hurt yourself, or me which would hurt you again in so many other ways…” Natalia sighed in consternation, “so I’ll just sit here and comfort you in your sleep and hope that I can help you this way.” She thought back to the frustration she saw in her friend tonight and wished she could have alleviated it.
“Such a hypocrite…”
Natalia put her hand on Olivia’s arm. “It’s just a dream Olivia, it can’t hurt you. I’m here…” Natalia watched her with a growing sense of unease at how much Olivia’s words had penetrated her. “I don’t know, maybe I am a hypocrite but your words didn’t hurt any less knowing that though.” Embarrassed, Natalia realized Olivia wasn’t the only one who had said some hurtful things.
“Oh yes, you’re such a big girl, you haven’t slept more than a few hours a night since this happened, you carry far too much unnecessary guilt for one person to handle, you have a concussion you refuse to take care of and any time any one tries to help you they get brushed aside. Yeah you’re such a big girl Olivia. How do you expect to take care of me or God…Emma if you can’t figure out how to take care of yourself?”
“I can’t believe I said that but… it’s true, I’m just getting frustrated. I want to help you but you don’t really want to let me. Oh sure you’ll let Reva…” Natalia sighed. Jealous much, Natalia? “Would I even know what to do if you told me everything going on in your head?” Natalia looked at the disappearing bruise on Olivia’s head and felt a growing urge to kiss it better, “All I can do is love you.” And she knew with a certainty that she did, when it happened or how she couldn’t really explain but there was something about this knowledge that planted a seed of doubt, “What if that’s not enough? What if it hurts our relationship?” Natalia shook her head, I know we’ve argued before, my goodness that’s the basis for our whole relationship but… that wasn’t us.
Unconsciously Natalia shifted to a position that hurt less. “We have to fix this, we’ll be no good to Emma or each other if we don’t work this out.”
Natalia continued to stroke Olivia’s hair and noticed the aroma of alcohol mixed with Olivia’s distinctive scent, she frowned. I don’t like you drinking with this concussion but do I really have any right to tell you to stop? Would you even listen to me? Would you hate me? She remembered Olivia’s pleading words while she tried to mend the damage she had inflicted.
“Natalia, don’t hate me, I gotta make sure your stitches didn’t tear.”
Natalia whispered, “I could never hate you Olivia but you scared me. You didn’t mean to hurt me but you did because you were drunk and out of control.” The pain in her friend surprised Natalia as did Olivia’s willingness to be honest about it.
“I’m not stupid Natalia, I know I have a problem and I need to figure it out. This fucking nightmare haunts me no matter where I am and I have no idea how to deal with it because it hurts… too damn much…”
“I know you’ve got a lot on your shoulders but I can carry some of it if you’ll let me. I don’t know what you need, I wish I did but I want to help you find it because I love you and I know you want to take care of me but you have to take care of yourself.”
Natalia bent down and kissed the furrowed brow of her friend. “I just want to take care of you too, ya know?”
‘...Olivia watched as the men continued to approach the unaware people, two guns appeared and it suddenly sounded like the Annual Bauer Fourth of July party, fireworks popping in quick succession. Natalia chest burst open with a spray of blood and bone and Olivia realized that these were not fireworks at all. ‘Natalia!’, her mind screamed as she struggled frantically against the invisible barrier that held her in place. She saw Ava grab a screaming Emma to shield her, Rafe run for his fallen mother, and the gunmen turn on him. ‘POP, POP, POP’ Rafe went falling to the ground inches from Natalia’s body. Olivia screamed and kicked at the barrier and the men who turned toward her girls. ‘NOOOOO!’ Her voice was raw as her cries tore from her throat. Two more shots and Ava dropped to the ground. Olivia threw her whole body at the invisible barrier as she watched Emma turn to face the men with a look of pure horror on her face before looking over to Olivia. ‘Mommy, why didn’t you stop them?’ POP.’
…Suddenly now standing alone over the bodies of her family Olivia looked down only to find the gun in her own hand.’
“NOOOOO!” Olivia in a panic sat straight up in bed, gasping for breath.
Natalia jumped, “Olivia? What is it? What’s wrong?”
Not seeing Natalia and still struggling for breath, Olivia swung her legs over the bed, curled into herself and began gently rocking back and forth. Shaking her head Olivia started repeating, “No, no, no, no, no…”
Cautiously Natalia slid toward Olivia and put her hand on her shoulder, “Olivia? What’s wrong? Can you tell me what happened?” My God she looks so pale.
Olivia sprang from the bed and moved over toward the desk, talking to herself as she began to pace and tried to settle her breathing. “No, that’s not how it happened, it can’t be.” In her mind she saw it again, POP, POP, POP! The noise reverberated in her skull and she could feel the weight of the gun in her hand. “No!” Finally realizing Natalia was in the room she turned toward her and yelled, “I didn’t do it…no…no… I couldn’t do that!”
Natalia approached Olivia as she would a frightened animal, “Couldn’t do what honey?”
“S...S…Stay away from me.” Olivia held up her hand and backed away. “You’re not here… I… I… kil… no… no…” Olivia shook her head repeatedly.
“Olivia? I don’t understand, what’s wrong? Please calm down, I’m not going to hurt you.” Natalia put her hands up in front of her to be as non-threatening as possible while Olivia was still clearly in the throes of her nightmare.
“You don’t under…ugh...” With a pained expression on her face, Olivia clutched her chest and bent over as she struggled to catch her breath.
“Olivia!” Natalia rushed to her side as quickly as she could despite her own pain and Olivia’s objections. She grabbed at the older woman’s shoulders, “What’s wrong? Is it your heart?”
Olivia dropped heavily to her knees as she continued to struggle to breathe and clutch at her chest, her mouth now soundlessly opening and closing.
“Olivia, I’m calling an ambulance.” Natalia announced as she moved toward the phone. “Just try to calm down. I’m going to get some help.” Natalia spun toward the sudden beeping sound she heard emanating from Olivia’s purse. “Oh my God.” A feeling of dread rose within Natalia as she looked back at Olivia struggling on her knees on the floor and she rushed the last few steps to the nightstand, grabbed the phone, knocking little bottles of pills everywhere, and called 911.
When the operator answered the call Natalia spoke as quickly as she could despite the tremor in her voice and the crushing fear in her chest, “I think she’s having a heart attack.” She hasn’t had an incident in months, I thought we were past all of this. Please God protect Olivia… keep her safe… keep her here with Emma and Ava… and me.
“Ma’am, who is having a heart attack?”
“What?” Natalia was pulled from her prayer. “I’m sorry… my friend… “ She tried to gather her wits about her, “My name is Natalia Rivera I’m calling from The Beacon hotel… my… my friend… Olivia Spencer… I think she’s having a heart attack. She’s a heart transplant recipient with a pacemaker…”
“Okay ma’am, is she conscious and breathing?”
“Yes… but she’s struggling…she’s clutching her chest... please hurry…” Natalia begged.
The 911 operator calmly asked for the telephone and room numbers, Olivia’s age and certain health information which Natalia answered as efficiently as she could though all she wanted to do was to run back and comfort her friend.
“An ambulance has been dispatched ma’am. They will be there shortly.”
Natalia had been watching Olivia during the brief phone conversation. Oh God, she’s going to hate being taken out in front of the staff and guests. “Can you please ask them to come to the service entrance around back, it’s closer to her room?” I promise Olivia, no laundry cart.
“I will relay that information,” The operator promised. “I’ll stay on the line with you until they arrive.”
“No… no I have to go...” Natalia said as she hung up the phone.
Desperate to get back to Olivia, Natalia moved over to her and knelt down beside her and put two fingers on the pulse point on the pale woman’s wrist. “I’m here Olivia, the ambulance is on the way, try and relax.” Please, please don’t be having a heart attack, God please, don’t let this happen. “Your heart is racing Olivia, I need you to try and calm down. Does your chest hurt?”
Olivia nodded as perspiration became visible on her brow.
“Does your arm hurt?”
Olivia nodded again.
Oh God. Natalia rubbed her back and tried to calm her down. “I’m right here with you Olivia, you’re going to be okay.”
Olivia turned her head and locked eyes with Natalia, focusing on the one port in the storm she could always count on; Natalia. Olivia’s lips moved but try as she might no sound came out. Natalia didn’t need the sound to understand; Help me. I’m scared… hurts.
With the phone still in hand, Natalia dialed another number and when the call was answered she spoke in a rush, “Jeffrey, it’s Olivia, I think she’s having a heart attack!”
To Be Continued...